The 'Cruel' Humilation of Harry and Meghan Continues as King Charles Evicts Them From Their Palace So His Disgraced Creepshow Brother Than Live There Instead

For most famous people, getting skewered by Trey Parker and Matt Stone just comes with the territory. Being punked by the two most accomplished satirists of our times is the price you pay for all that money, adulation, and fawning coverage you get from celebrity news outlets. The Yin to the Yang of those puff pieces in Vanity Fair and People. For 26 seasons, South Park has left no famous stone unturned. Team America: World Police savaged half of Hollywood, Broadway, a few world leaders, and pretty much all of American foreign policy. And Book of Mormon mercilessly ridiculed a major religion with some of my favorite musical numbers of all time. So if they drag you, it should be worn like a badge of honor. To butcher something Reggie Jackson famously said, "They don't do cable TV adult cartoon brutal parodies of nobodies." 

Note that I said "most famous people." Harry and Meghan Markle are definitely not that. And had zero sense of humor for the "World Wide Privacy Tour" episode:

In fact, some headlines were suggesting they might sue. On the grounds of ... something. That you can't have two characters in your show that you only refer to as "The Prince" and his "Instagram-loving bitch of a wife" without breaking the law. Or that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and their millions of followers are fair game, but the Sussexes are off limits altogether. Or whatever. 

That said, it speaks volumes about their unique place in the world that getting ruthlessly mocked as floppy-headed narcissists on and animated show wasn't the most degrading, humiliating thing that's happened to them in the last few weeks. That would be this:

Source - King Charles III began evicting Harry and Meghan from Frogmore Cottage just 24 hours after his son released Spare - and the couple believe it is 'cruel', it was claimed today.

His Majesty initially gave his son and daughter-in-law 'weeks' to pack up their grace-and-favour British home in the grounds of Windsor Castle after Harry released his memoirs.  

But 'now they have at least until after the Coronation' in May, a friend of the couple has claimed. A source told Page Six that Britain's monarch started the eviction process on January 11 - the day after Spare had its global release. …

The insider told the Sussexes' favoured royal reporter, Omid Scobie, today: 'It all feels very final and like a cruel punishment. It's like [the family] want to cut them out of the picture for good. …

Incredibly Charles has reportedly offered the keys to Frogmore to Harry's disgraced uncle Prince Andrew - who is apparently 'resisting' because he wants to stay in his larger Windsor Royal Lodge where he pays a reported £250-a-week for a state-subsidised 30-room mansion complete with 98 acres of land and a swimming pool.

Mr Scobie has said that at least two members of the Royal Family are 'appalled'.

Oh, the horror. The horror. 

First of all, let's clarify our terms. Yes, in the headline I called Frogmore a "palace" and the official title is "Cottage." But who are we kidding? Our idea of a cottage is a place you rent for a week on Cape Cod, with one bathroom and seashell decor all over the place and maybe beach access if you really shell out the big bucks. Calling some rental and Frogmore the same thing is like pointing out your dog and the President both sleep in a place called "House." 

Second, I'm no fan of Charles. But you've got to hand it to the jug-eared, upper crust twit. This is a prime example of a King doing Kingly things. With one hand, he's vindictively sticking it to his ingrate of a son for writing a tell-all book about the family. With the other, he's kicking his creepy brother:

… out of the swinging bachelor pad/ country estate where he's been living in luxury on the taxpayer's dime. By now the whole world knows Andrew was one of Jeffrey Epstein's best friends. And when asked about it in the one difficult interview he's ever given in his pampered life, he made a princely ass of himself. But I think so little of humanity that my guess is, "Would you care see a 30-room mansion complete with 98 acres of land and a swimming pool where you can suck a royal dick?" is still a winning pick up line.

But here, Charles III just solved two problems with one move. Like a king of old, he's conducting a good old fashioned purge of his idiot family. I mean, not so much like the War of the Roses, where a weakling Henry VI was usurped by Richard of York, who was killed in battle and then his son Edward claimed the throne with the help of Warwick the Kingmaker and then hilarity ensued for 32 years. But still more or less carrying on the royal tradition of carrying out vendettas against your relatives. After all, what good is a throne and a crown if you can't settle petty grudges?

Normally I go well out of my way to avoid following anything these people do or knowing anything about them. I have no interest in any royals unless they're ancient history and wielded actual power. But if this is how King Charles' reign is going to play out, I might actually pay attention. Regardless, I can't wait until he gets the South Park treatment.