Someone Dumped Nearly 500LBS of Cooked Pasta In The Woods Of A North Jersey Town

Spicy meatball of local gossip coming in hot. 

In what might be one of the most New Jersey things to ever happen, some person or entity has dumped enormous piles of cooked spaghetti, ziti and macaroni noodles all over a small town's creek-side pathway, and it's immediately become political, complete with name calling. 

From NJ.com:

An estimated 500 pounds of cooked pasta was found dumped near a stream in Old Bridge last week, a local political candidate told NJ Advance Media.

Nina Jochnowitz, who is running for council in the town’s sixth ward, was going door-to-door during a campaign trip last week when a concerned citizen alerted her to the bizarre discovery, she said.

Jochnowitz said she was taken to the area to see it for herself and decided to snap some photos and post them on her social media account on April 26. The town was previously alerted and did not respond to the pasta dump, she said.

I have so many questions.

First off… who in the Hell is cooking that much pasta all at once? (*I'd make some corny Italian jokes here, but due to recent events have chosen to refrain.) And why? I'd imagine even on its busiest night of the year Olive Garden is not pumping out this much noodle:

Second: Why choose a heavily-housed suburban neighborhood for the dumping grounds when, as we've all seen on Sopranos, there are endless fantastic dumping grounds up here? Going off comments from the town FB page, this screenshot below is the approximate location, and there's houses everywhere. You're telling me nobody heard a van pull up in the middle of the night while a group of fellas rolled wheelbarrows of gabbagool into the tree line? Then again, speaking of Sopranos, maybe when you hear that type of noise at 3am you keep it to yourself around these parts:

Back to whodunit, I took to Google Maps and couldn't find any pasta factories in the area, so I figure only an Italian restaurant could have had so much. Unfortunately in North Jersey that's like finding a needle in a haystack, or a meatball in a massive spaghetti pile next to a creek in Old Bridge, so we'll have to let it go. 

Whatever the case, in the end Jochnowitz did not file a police report and the local Dept. of Public Works came to scoop up the 25-foot area of noodles a couple days later. She noted it was disappointing that it took a social media post for the town to take action. No word on what the "no-can-do mayor and his CaL girls" think of this. Hope they can all forgive, forget, and enjoy some locally grown spaghette.

In closing, please enjoy these Dad jokes, as they were all having a field day in the comments.