Ultimate Nightmare Scenario: Bo Jackson Has To Get A Medical Procedure Because He's Been Battling Hiccups For A Year

I'm not going to sit here and make fun of Bo Jackson for having hiccups. Hiccups fucking suck. I don't want that bad juju around me and I won't say that I've been lucky enough to avoid a hiccup battle in quite some time. But to get a medical procedure for that just sounds awful. Plus we're talking about Bo Jackson here. This isn't an average nobody, this is a guy who is one of the best college football players of all time. He's an athletic freak. If hiccups can take him down, they can take any normal couch potato down. 

I do love his strategy of smelling a porcupine's ass. Never heard that one before, but that's how you think outside the box. Not exactly sure how you get a porcupine or make sure to get to its ass, but it's worth trying if you're in a year long battle with hiccups. At that point I'd smell anyone's ass. That's better than just walking around worrying about hiccups. 

I always thought coughing fits were the first worst feeling. You just have that scratchy feeling, you know a cough is coming but can't clear your throat so you start drinking a shit ton of water. Then you have to pee every 2 seconds. Give me that over hiccups. There's no worse feeling than trying everything to get rid of hiccups and they just stick around. 

I can't get over the fact it's been a year. Ultimate nightmare just waking up knowing you're getting a hiccup war, just no idea when. Do they start the moment you wake up? Do they wake you up? I'd be pissed off 24 hours a day if that's the case. There are nice ways to wake up - most notably, just doing it naturally. But then there are others - construction noises, alarms, other people - which all suck. I'd rather be woken up every single day for a year with hammering and drilling outside my window than hiccups.