It Seems Charles III's First Official Act as King is Booting His Creepy (Alleged) Pedo Brother Andrew Out of His Castle

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It's said that when his Persian army was getting tired of conquering the known world, and asked for a break from all the campaigning, looting, pillaging, raping, and sleeping in tents in the wilderness, and wanted to start living the quiet, comfortable lives of the people they were crushing in battle, King Cyrus told declared, "Soft lands breed soft men." Which loosely translates to, "You're the biggest badasses alive. Why would you rather become a bunch of pussies?" 

That is no less true today. And while the rest of us commoners are hardly living like Persian soldiers, in our lifetimes, practically no one has enjoyed a softer land and been bred softer than the men of Britain's Royal family. Particularly King Charles III, who according to published reports, has servants tie his shoes and put exactly one inch (or its metric equivalent) of toothpaste on his toothbrush for him. Which isn't exactly conducive to being an effective ruler and inspiring one's subjects to greatness. Whether we're talking about being a real monarch, or the fake fairy tale kind the British have. 

But credit where credit is due. Because no sooner has Charles put away his preposterous crown and scepter away and took a WetNap to the ceremonial oil they put on his chest, than he's gone after the one man who's lived a softer life than his. His creepshow brother, Prince Andrew. The alleged pedophile who had a closer relationship to convicted child rapist Jeffrey Epstein than any non-pedo ever could:

To be fair to the rest of the Royals, over the last few years, they've stripped this raging twat of many of his duties and privileges. At the Coronation, he was reduced to sitting in the Westminster Abbey equivalent of the back row of the bleachers. And to be even fairer to the new king, he's wasted no time demonstrating there's more to leadership than tying your shoes and squeezing your own tube of Crest. He's essentially made degrading and humiliating his pervy brother Priority One in his reign:

Source - Prince Andrew will not move out of his £30 million home, Royal Lodge on the Windsor estate, putting him on collision course with King Charles.

The Duke of York is digging his heels in and refusing to vacate the 30-room mansion, his home for more than 20 years.

Charles has let it be known that Andrew should leave the house, where he lives with ex-wife Sarah Ferguson, and downsize to Prince Harry’s former home, Frogmore Cottage. …

[T]he King is cutting the annual £250,000 subsidy that the late Queen gave to Andrew – meaning he can no longer afford the upkeep for the mansion. 

Andrew is seeking face-to-face showdown talks with his brother. 

Friends of the Yorks say Andrew, who was forced to step back as a front-line Royal because of his association with paedophile millionaire Jeffrey Epstein, is ‘refusing to budge’ from Royal Lodge. They say he’s in low spirits and has become reclusive. One friend said: ‘He is so fragile. He’s refusing to see anybody. This has been his family home for the past 20 years. Is it really sensible to kick him out?

‘He’s concerned that now the Coronation is over, the knives are out. He’s worried that the Royals might even turn off the utilities to get him out of there. But we’re dealing with human beings, not real estate.’

This might be an example of trying to shame the unshameable. And may require more than simply moving Andrew to smaller, slightly less opulent luxury accommodations of a sort the rest of us only get to see on BBC dramas and Disney films. More direct means could be necessary:

Regardless though, it's a noble effort. 

Imagine if you will: You're born into a situation so privileged that your life comes with a promise of unlimited wealth and resources, hundreds of people catering to your every whim, and women who were born into slightly less privileged conditions happily willing to ignore your homeliness and empty-headed dullness and marry you, just to be part of that Princess Life. And the job comes with exactly two requirements:

1) Do Royals stuff like posing for photos at charity events.

2) Don't accept invitations from the world's most notorious sex trafficker to rape underage girls. 

That's it. And still you can't comply with those very simple prerequisites of the job. And when you blow it by violating that second directive, rather than just admit you blew it and take the L, you demand a meeting to talk your way back into the inner circle. That is unmitigated gall of the highest capacity. 

Like I said when Andrew gave that disastrous interview, this is what you get when someone goes their whole life without facing any challenges. He gets a set of tough questions for the first time, and he makes a stammering, sweating, incomprehensible fool out of himself. Now he's faced with a choice of paying his bills or losing his house - which is something us poors face every single month - and he decides he's just going to sit there and refuse to leave. Or demand his brother take care of him. He's like a kid who didn't do his homework or walk the dog who throws a fit when he doesn't get his allowance. Worse, he sends his few remaining friends to plead his case in the press with a sob story about how sad and mopey he is and how unfair everyone is being to him. It's beyond pathetic.

So good on Charles for pressing the issue. And when Andrew gets dragged out of his little fantasy world of comfort and luxury he's been living in, I hope the Royals invite the public to come watch. Andrew is "fragile" they say? Funny, that's exactly the word you can use to describe the kidnapped teenagers on Epstein's island. Allegedly.