The Ending To Succession Was Sitting Right In Front Of Our Faces Since The 1920 World Series And We Never Even Noticed!
There you have it folks! Hours upon hours of one of HBO's biggest dramas was summed up before the finale aired in exactly 100 seconds on TikTok with a piece of baseball trivia that only Frank the Tank would be able to answer on The Dozen. What a world we live in, even though maybe we shouldn't be so surprised since we learned in the FIRST EPISODE of the show that Tom had no problem tagging a kid out as they were rounding third for a win.
Congrats to Tom Wambsgans for pulling off the triple play on the biggest stage and taking home the crown. Say what you want about Tom, but he always played the game and knew exactly what he was right til the end as he nodded while his potential future boss laid out how much he wanted to lay Tom’s wife right to his face.
I may have been riding the #Shivwagon, but Tom felt like the obvious play if Kendall once again blew a 3-1 lead in the conference room. Besides, whatever is good for Tom is good for Shiv and her child. I mean look how happy these two are together!
This is going to lead to sooooooooo many mean comments which will in turn lead to sooooooooooooo much more hate sex, which is going to lead to soooooooo many more demon babies. Once again, congrats to the happy couple!
Some other quick thoughts on the finale:
- What, you thought Shiv was short for Siobhan? HA! Those bitches Meriam and Webster knows what her name really means.
Shiv knew she was cooked and instead of fighting it, Pinky decided to not allow her idiot brother to ruin the company their dad built by stabbing Kendall in the heart. But not before making him drink a Tabasco smoothie with pickles in it.
Come at the Scorpion Queen, you best not miss!
- The kitchen scene and the video scene were the closest the kids have ever seemed to being actual humans.
- People may say Tom won Succession, but only one person got what they truly wanted and that's Connor with his medals. The Conheads will rise again!
- If Greg thought his life sucked before, he isn't going to love it with his Older Disgusting Brother at the top of the org chart fresh off a betrayal. The Tomlette enjoyed cracking Gregs and something tell me that sick son of a bitch Matsson may do the same for someone he called Judas in front of a bunch of people. Not quite the "Greg firing Tom" ending we all thought we'd get. Actually, it's pretty much the polar opposite of that, which kinda plays right into Greg's life.
- That post credits scene made the ending hit so much harder. Damn. I heard some people on the new Max app didn't even have a chance to watch it. Tough break.
- It looks like Gerri will be the winner out of the three hyenas, which is nice to see. May Karl and Frank land safely with their golden parachutes.
- What's there to say about Kendall that hasn't been said about the 2022-23 Celtics? Also I hate to admit it, but him going through the semantics about killing a kid as he pleaded for his life's goal was LOL funny. On the bright side, maybe he can be the father he never had to his kids, even though I wouldn't hold my breath if I was little Iverson (which is still the perfect name for a child of Kendall Roy).
- I hope those protestors didn't beat the vulgarity out of Roman because this was his most SFW episode of the entire series. Does Kieran Culkin have a Cameo because I kinda wanna pay him some money to say very lewd things to me. Anyway, shout out for Roman for being the only Roy kid that actually realized what they were in the end. Bullshit. Hopefully he can enjoy his billions while never having to work again now that a deal on this show FINALLY got finished.
- That being said, you never lick another man's cheese. Even if he's a certified weirdo sticking it your mom.
- I was just kidding about that post credits scene by the way. I couldn't make everyone who clicked this blog go back and try to find something that doesn't exist. But if you were fooled, blame this sexy son of a bitch.
Usually I would end a blog when the Clickburglar shows up, but I have to let the music of one of the greatest television theme songs play us out instead.
I need to be a part of an HBO Themes draft on the Dogwalk soon because their hit rate with those is about as good as their shows. Seriously, think about any HBO show you like then think of its intro/theme song. It is either good, great, or iconic. Just an unreal hit rate for a channel that doesn't miss.