Live EventBarstool Sports Picks Central | Thursday, November 14th, 2024Watch Now
Stella Blue Coffee Golden Mug Giveaway | Enter to Win One of 10 PS5s LEARN MORE

An Airline In New Zealand Is Going To Start Weighing Passengers Before They Board

Knowing the weight of everything that goes on its aircraft is a "regulatory requirement", airline spokesman Alastair James explained in a video.

"We know stepping on the scales can be daunting. We want to reassure our customers there is no visible display anywhere," Mr James said. "By weighing in, you'll be helping us fly safely and efficiently every time."

Air New Zealand will be asking more than 10,000 customers travelling on its international network to take part in the survey

I am sure the both the body positivity AND the privacy people are going to be outraged. It's fat shaming. It's intrusive. It's this. It's that. Blah blah blah. Listen fatties, this company is just trying to anonymously record your weight so they can wrap their minds around the actual weight of the airplane. I am sure they're just trying to maximize their fuel efficiency so they can pass those saving on to you. I have gone through a health crisis that nobody seems to want to let me forget and even I would have no problem stepping up to the scale in public for the good of everyone. Pop up on that scale and it reads, let's say...113KG. I don't know what the fuck a kilogram is, but I know that 113 is gonna have me feeling like a skinny mini. Like damn, I must've got ALL the steps in on my way to the terminal. Real glad I didn't use that moving sidewalk. Hustled my ass down to 113, bitch. Pass me the biscoff, I earned that. Even if they did have the standard american measurement system of pounds I'd still do my part. Turns out 113kg is about 250lbs. A big number no doubt. A number I'd feel some shame about, but at the same time my backpack is on and that probably weight 5lbs. Shoes...those are probably like 3ish. Belt...metal buckles are heavy as fuck. That's another 3-5. Phone, wallet, keys. Another 5. I am likely wearing jeans because nobody wants to see hairy legs on a flight so that thick denim gets factored in as well. So the scale might say 250lbs, but I am walking on that jetway knowing in reality I'm a svelte like 225. Just broad shoulders and strong legs. Put me in the exit row so I can push out that door with my muscles which weigh more than fat. 

PS: It turns out WSD was the one with stinky feet all along. He shouldn't be allowed to fly, let alone take his shoes off