Tourists, Like This Idiot At Yellowstone Who Tried To Pet A Bison, Need To Leave Animals The Fuck Alone

Fox News- Video shows a tourist attempt to pet a bison grazing by a pathway May 20 after a group approached the animal to take selfies.

When the woman reached out to pet the big bovine, she got quite the scare. The bison lowered its head and lunged at her with its horns. The animal snagged the tourist's sweater as she scrambled to get away, but she managed to break loose and appeared unharmed.

The incident shows exactly why people should not get too close to wild animals, according to Zoo Miami ambassador Ron Magill.

It’s well documented here that I am team animal 99.999% of the time. With the rare occasions being when people get attacked by sharks. That’s never cool. Or snakes. In any circumstance. Because fuck snakes. But other than that? Animals get the nod almost always. 

“Mess with the bull, get the horns” is a famous quote as old as time, for a God damn reason. 

Stop messing with animals. 

Especially on their turf, in their natural environments. 

This lady is lucky this bison didn't buck her to the moon. She would have deserved it. Especially given the fact that stories like this are hitting the news streams like once a week. Don't believe me? Look at what I found just by a simple search in the Barstool toolbar.

This problem is actually far worse than I realized come to think of it. Bison need to put the word out that humans are fucking morons, and the herd needs thinning. Basically reverse what the pioneers did with them 150 years ago.

Wyoming, and Yellowstone in particular might honestly be my favorite place I have ever visited on Earth. There is seriously nothing else like it. Or even close. If you've been lucky enough to have visited, you know exactly what I mean. If you haven't, you should find a way to move it to the top of your list. I promise you won't be disappointed. Here are a few pics and what I wrote about the first time I visited.

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A couple weeks ago we visited Jackson Hole, Wyoming. I’ve been wanting to go for what seems like forever. My uncle lived out there briefly in the 80s and the stories he filled my head with as a kid cast it as somewhat of a folklore.  

From the second we descended below the clouds it did not contradict. From almost everywhere in Jackson, including their charming 9 gate airport, you are surrounded by 3 mountain ranges. Mountains like you’ve never seen. The Tetons appear to jut straight out of the flat plains into the clouds. They make the Rockies look manageable by comparison. 

The air is fresh with the faint smell of sage. Which is literally everywhere. The only sounds you hear are of animals which are also everywhere. Everytime we stepped out of town we encountered bears, moose, elk, buffalo, antelope, and even some smaller ones that couldn’t kill us like beavers and eagles. 

We rafted the rapids of the Snake River. Thanks to this winters generous amounts of snow the river was running high and extra frigid. 

We drove the entire loop of Yellowstone trekking out at 5am and not returning until midnight. We felt the spray of Old Faithful up close. Smelled the nauseating sulfur at the Grand Prismatic Spring. Got stopped on the road by two brown bear cubs foraging for berries with their mother. Hiked the Yellowstone Grand Canyon and got to see that famous view from artist point thats in every school textbook about manifest destiny. 

We got to see Roosevelt Arch named for my favorite President. The man responsible for our country’s conservation program and much of the National Parks system. 

We toured Grand Teton National Park twice because once wasn’t enough. Marveled how Jenny Lake at dusk looked too beautiful to be real. 

We line danced at Million Dollar Cowboy Bar. Had beers with locals while watching the B’s lose game 7 at The Silver Dollar Bar. Even went to our first rodeo. Which is twice weekly and on a Wednesday night not a seat was to be had. 

Inspired, the next morning we rode horses up through East Gros Ventre Butte above the elk refuge. 

Took the tram up to the summit of Rendezvous Mountain and tried to pick our jaws off the floor while looking out over the valley. 

I was left with this incredible sense of awe in nature and it’s untarnished beauty. And at how awful mankind has been to each other and our home. (One story I can’t get out of my head is how the pioneers took a bison population of over 60 million and in 75 years decimated it to fewer than 500, as a way to cripple the Native American population that depended on the animals, and saw them as sacred, and for sport.) 

I’ve been so lucky to be able to travel to some incredible places in the world but I’ve never got to experience  anything like Wyoming. Can’t wait to go back.