Best of 2023 - Man Skips Work To Golf And Gets Publicly Berated By His Boss (Video) - BONUS Best Days To Play Golf

When the Fourth Of July falls on a Tuesday like it did this year, the rest of the work week is always weird. Some companies give you time off while others expect to see you at the cracker factory the next day. Don't worry boss, some of us still have work ethic even though we are on paternity leave.** (ICYMI my wife and I had our baby last week. Both are doing well, thank you for asking.) 

Now, I'm no detective but it appears Rico is hitting the links today. 

I saw the tweet and the timestamp and put two and two together. First rule of being on the golf course when you're supposed to be at work - stay off social media. It's 2023 so you need to cover your tracks.  (Sidenote: I say this all the time but how anyone thinks they will get away with a crime these days is beyond me.) This goes for your buddies as well. Rico needs to give Big Cat and Jerry a heads up to not post anything in order to keep him out of Dave's crosshairs. The video from Jerry certainly didn't help. Although it seems everyone and their brother is filming golf content these days so this could very well be yet another series I wasn't invited to participate in despite being an avid golfer and a delight to have in the foursome.

There's a lot to unpack here. 

-I am a firm believer that the golf course is actually one place where you can usually judge a book by its cover. How a person is dressed, their clubs, and their bag is a good indicator of the day you're about to have. If Rico showed up as a single I'd anticipate being in for a LONG day. The loud outfit guy is either a stick or about to fire the most miraculous 120 you've ever seen. Hammer the latter. And that bag? Looks good on you, though. 

By no means am I shaming anyone's ability to golf the ball. We all stink, myself included. But when you're 35 minutes behind pace because pink shorts is combing the lake with his ball retriever for the 3rd time today, you get a touch annoyed. 

-Walking in with a massive cooler is a move. Listen, we've all done it ok - You're young and money is tight so you sneak a few beers on the muni because you aren't keen on $10 beers or maybe the cart girl is off today. It's an unwritten rule that the club looks the other way and we agree to be discreet. Unless you're Rico. My man shows up with a cooler like he's settling in for an 8 hour day at the beach. Preposterous move. So preposterous maybe you have to respect it. 

-showing up late is a horrible feeling. You never want to be the guy the foursome is waiting on to tee off. The starter is hassling you because it's about to be your tee time, your buddy texted he's 5 minutes out which realistically means he's 15, and everyone is shooting you daggers when you arrive finally. One time I heard a story about Riggs showing up to pick someone up for a round and the guy wasn't answering his phone so Riggs left him after trying for 30 minutes of calls and banging on the door. The guy eventually showed up on the 7th hole. Talk about late! Apparently he was awake, went back to sleep, and forgot to set another alarm after a late night out with the boys. Crazy move. 

Dave's tweet got me thinking though - what are the best days to play golf? Any day on the golf course is a good day but some are certainly better than others. Here is what I came up with in no order:

Monday

You're all thinking, "What the hell are you talking about, Cons?!" Listen, if you're playing on Monday it means you're playing in an outing and you're not at work. Having a round of golf on Monday all but eliminates the Sunday scaries. You're having a cocktail when you show up at 11am because hey, you're not at the office. The sun is shining. You can't walk 3 feet without someone dropping, "Better than being at the office amiright lol?" You're playing a scramble so it's not overly serious. The tunes are cooking. Life is good. 

Morning of a holiday

Honestly, it doesn't even matter what the holiday is. Could be 4th of July. Could be Thanksgiving. Heck, it could be New Year's Eve if you get an unseasonably warm day here in Jersey. Starting your holiday with a round of golf first thing in the morning with the rest of the day's activities ahead of you is an ideal start to the day. 

NFL Sunday/CFB Saturday

Similar to the holiday, knocking out 18 in the morning and retiring to the men's grill all afternoon to watch football is actually what heaven is like. I forget which Gospel talks about that but I went to Catholic school for 13 years so I think I know. This is especially great on a fall morning when there is a crisp in the air and you're wearing a quarter zip for the first time. Quick story - we did this one time at my friend's club and he had one too many Miller Lites on the course and during the afternoon of games. This was before Uber so his wife had to come pick him up and she was none too pleased because I guess he was supposed to be home at 1pm because her family was coming over. They drove maybe 30 yards before the brakes slammed, his door opened, and I heard "GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE CAR!" in a blood curdling scream that is normally reserved for Wes Craven movies. Anyway, he slept at my house that night, got divorced 2 months later, and is now on his second wife. Moral of the story: thank God for Uber. 

First Day of the Buddies trip

You've been planning for 6 months. The group text has been going bananas for last few weeks. What games are you going to play? Whose wife is giving them a hard time? Who is going to drink too much the first day? It all comes down to this and the first round when the vibes are high is the best of the weekend. No one has lost any balls or money yet. Your spirits are positive. Your energy is abundant. No one has pulled a muscle going for the green despite it being 270 away and not having that shot in your bag. Nothing better.

Bachelor Party day

Any day on the bachelor party is a good one because it is unlike any round you're going to play all year most likely strictly due to the amount of booze consumed. No one cares about playing well because the mission is simple: have fun. This comes in many forms but one thing is certain, you're going to be the walking wounded come the 19th hole. 

Day before wedding

Can be your own wedding or a friend's wedding but this is a fun round. You know you have a solid party on the horizon so this is just the jumping off point. Maybe Brian has a few too many and falls out of the cart on a sharp turn so you have an opening story to tell during cocktail hour. Maybe the groom drank a tad too much and forgot sunscreen so he shows up to the Welcome Party visibly bamboozled. No matter what a good wedding weekend has a round of golf. 

There are plenty of others I missed but that is part of the beauty of the game - it's a different kind of fun for everyone, including Rico in his Easter bunny outfit and massive cooler. 

P.S. I have a great golf playlist, always bring extra cigars, and never turn down a transfusion - I'm ready for golf content. 

**The entire Barstool office is off this whole week just like every year at this time so Rico being on the golf course seems to be in the fairway.