Robbing An Ice Cream Man At Gunpoint Should Land You In Jail For Life

Look, I've sat back and watched our society slowly collapse upon itself over the years. To be honest, I've blogged a whole lot of those moments along the way. But this is a bridge too far, even if I appreciate the gutless thieves not taking a free ice cream for themselves after they emptied the ice cream man's pockets.

Robbing an ice cream man should come with a stiffer penalty than robbing some random person or business. The amount of joy that person brings to his community by selling frozen treats for roughly a 1000% markup cannot accurately be quantified and someone like that needs to be protected. Especially if he is an old school ice cream man that is grinding and pushing his wares in the heat instead of riding in an old truck playing some of the most delightful music in the history of mankind.

When I was a young, the kids in my neighborhood always wondered why the ice cream man avoided our group of houses while going to everyone other neighborhood considering we had a massive group of potential customers ready to pay whatever price he wanted to charge for a WWF Ice Cream Bar. Turns out one of the delinquent older kids threw rocks at him back in the day, which had the Good Humor guy cross our neighborhood off his list until one of our parents tracked him down and convinced him that the schmuck who threw those rocks was in juvie and he had a treasure trove of kids ready to shell over their allowance money for everything in his truck.

I get that Americans are struggling all over this great nation of ours. But there has to be a line drawn to protect the pillars of the community or else what are we all even doing here?

Also it has to be said that this never would've happened in a world where the Choco Taco was still being sold. Thanks for that, Klondike.

Obligatory link to my ice cream truck power rankings blog:

UPDATE: God bless America. Land of the free, home of the GoFundMe's for people that went viral for sad reasons (I love that this ice cream man's name is Don Juan by the way. Chill as fuck).