THERE IS A LION LOOSE IN BERLIN

Police spokesperson Daniel Keip told public broadcaster RBB that "in the summer you often hear reports of crocodiles in swimming lakes and then it turns out all it was, was a big duck. In this case it's obviously totally real. We're dealing with a lioness that's roaming freely through Teltow, Stahnsdorf and Kleinmachnow."

But Michel Rogall, a circus director in Teltow who was woken by police at 02:00 local time, is not so sure.

"If it's a lion, I'll eat my hat," he told the Tagesspiegel newspaper. In addition, he told Reuters that there was no circus with wild animals on the road in eastern Germany, "and they wouldn't escape either [if there was]".

Residents have been advised to stay indoors and keep their pets with them. Police have also told people to avoid the forest and seek shelter immediately if they see the lioness.

Mr Grubert said authorities were focusing their search on a large area next to a wood where people walk their dogs. Authorities believe the lioness may be sleeping there.

He added that there was "no panic, no hysteria... but we do urge people not to go running or cycling in the woods".

Who let the Lions out?! Dude, Idk what the fuck is happening in Germany, but this Lion that escaped a private residence definitely was part of some German Dungeon porn shoot or some oil-baron Saudi type who flew it in on their private jet. 

I just have this image in my head of a dude in Lederhosen on a bike running away from a lion in some Berlin park. Screaming in German like the Nazis in Indiana Jones. 

This may sound like some serious anti-kraut blogging maybe it is because I have been reading up on my WW2 history thanks to Large. 

But I am also German myself so it's kinda ok to make fun of the yodeling weiner schnitzel people getting chased by a 1,000-pound apex predator from the Savannah. Its also crazy that there are wild boars in Germany that are enough to satisfy the cravings of that apex predator. 

“Around midnight, we received a message hard to imagine. Two passersby who saw one animal chasing another,” Daniel Keip, Brandenburg police spokesperson, told RBB radio.

“One was a wild boar and the other apparently a wild animal, a lioness. The two men recorded a video on their phones and even experienced policemen had to concede that it was probably a lioness,” he said.

There used to be Lions in Europe thousands of years ago, and these Wild Hogs have probably been chased by a decent large predator in Germany since the mid-1800s when wolves were still roaming. The Boars encountering a beast that hasn't been present in Germany since prehistory is like a dinosaur traveling forward in time to hunt humans in NYC.

Hope the Lion doesn't eat a German and gets caught alive. Still would be nuts to hear a lion is roaming your suburb.