Zoom Is Officially Selling Out And Forcing Its Workers Return To The Office

Justin Sullivan. Getty Images.

CNN- Zoom, the company that powered the remote work revolution during the pandemic, is telling its employees to come back to the office. In a statement, Zoom said it’s now enforcing a “structured hybrid approach,” meaning that employees who live near an office “need to be onsite two days a week” because it’s “most effective” for the video-conferencing service.

“As a company, we are in a better position to use our own technologies, continue to innovate, and support our global customers. We’ll continue to leverage the entire Zoom platform to keep our employees and dispersed teams connected and working efficiently,” the company said.

takes deep breath

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

What the fuck is this, Zoom? I thought you guys were cool. Nope, just another corporate monolith forcing its employees into the cubes where their dreams will die a slow, painful death. Yes I used monolith there to really make Zoom seem like a big heartless corporation and no I'm not sure if I used it correctly. But I stand by what I said, even if it's wrong.

How are you going to be a company that built its entire brand on people working from home then turning around and making your employees come into the office? I guess the price of the fancy glassy HQ pictured at the top of this blog with that has its logo, a snazzy bend in the middle, and palm trees is a huge part of the equation. But it still feels so wrong to make your employees trade in the freedom of working at home in shorts and a t-shirt because you want to fill the big buildings you are leasing in the commercial real estate industry your company essentially slaughtered. 

I know Zoom's statement said that employees have to only be onsite two days a week. But when that same statement includes words like "structured hybrid approach", you know the big corporation is using fancy phrases to motherfuck the everyday workers that will turn those two days onsite into at least four days sooner rather than later. And if you have a problem with that, you will be getting the Homer Simpson treatment (except you have a brain and realize that four day weekend is actually a permanent weekend, which isn't a good thing in this case).

Also it has to be said how crazy it is that Skype was forever the video conferencing program that everyone used to the point people would say "I will Skype you" when looking to make a video call before getting completely dusted by Zoom once COVID-19 dropped its nuts on the table and shut down the entire world. All-time bag drop by the people at Skype.