So Can We Talk About This M&M Commercial Where The Red M&M Is Banging A Chick While Yellow Watches?

The above M&Ms commercial started airing on TV a few weeks ago and, though I’ve heard it come up in conversation in real life a few times, I haven’t seen a ton about it other than a few tweets of confusion similar to these that seemingly vacillate between confusion and horror:

Overall I think it’s a fantastic commercial not only because it catches your eye given the sexy nature of the ad, but also because it raises so many questions that get you thinking about the very existence of M&Ms in this world. Here were the main ones I had:

-We thinking this chick’s hot or nah? I admit I’m biased towards a woman so hungry for good pipe that she’ll turn to hard shelled chocolate candies

-Was red M&M fucking her or just going down on her?

-She seemed to be leaning in when the husband comes into the room, was she also fingering the red M&M’s ass while he did it?

-Was he still doing whatever he was doing while the husband’s in the room?

-Presuming it was only cunnilingus, was the wife really going to take oral sex from red M&M and then just eat him? Because that seems pretty rude

-Is the husband mad that the wife is having the M&M go down on her or just that he wasn’t included?

-Or did the husband think they were going to eat the M&M and the entirety of the sex part is throwing him for a loop?

-If not, do Liz and Scott have an open relationship?

-Does the open relationship extend solely to candies come to life or include human men and women as well?

-Are we 100% sure they were actually going to eat red M&M and not just have sex with him, either with his will or against it?

-Does the red M&M have a tongue? If not, how is he going down on the chick? All gums?

-Does red M&M take his white gloves off to finger her? He’s wearing them when he stands up in bed so I assume not?

-If he were to shove his finger in there, would it instantly melt because of the heat emanating from her vag?

-The red M&M must have thought the “dessert” was referring to sex…does he have a dick? Is it also candy coated or is it like an M&M without the shell?

-Is his foreskin made of candy shell or just molded milk chocolate?

-Do M&Ms have a doctor or a Jewish mohel who can circumcise them?

-How does an M&M ejaculate? Is it that wet milk chocolate in the middle of the commercial that comes out or actual semen?

-If the latter, are we eating a small amount of semen inside every M&M?

-Is yellow M&M functionally retarded?

-How did he not notice that the husband was in the room when he came out of the closet?

-Do anthropomorphic M&Ms have typically have poor peripheral vision, presumably because they weren’t meant to be seeing and/or alive?

-How exactly was yellow watching out for the husband from their windowless closet?

-Was this all an elaborate ploy by yellow M&M so he could jerk off to a very specific cuckolding fetish?

-Are M&Ms as a species predisposed to running trains and/or sexual openness, sort of like rappers and their posses?

-Is the “melts in your mouth, not in your hands” adage also applicable for sex with an M&M?

-Is it legal to have sex with an M&M because it’s an object or because the government in this fictional world respects M&Ms’ rights?

-How pissed must gay people be in this fictional world?

I think that covers it for me. Either way, great job by the M&M marketing people. Let’s see the red band version of the ad ASAP.