There Are Eight Phases Of The Year. Today Is The Start Of Phase 6

Today officially marks the beginning of a new phase of the year. We have officially entered Phase 6, or what others would refer to as "fall." Now some would say fall doesn't technically start until the equinox on September 23rd or whatever, but those people are idiots. I don't go by the four seasons, I stay there. (Not actually. Way too poor for that. Just thought it would be a cool line if I was in like a rap song. I'm not though. This is a blog.) I go by the eight phases. Here they are. 

Phase 1 - Winter 1

January 2nd/3rd - Super Bowl

The first phase of the year starts the day everyone goes back to work after New Year's Day, which is usually the 2nd or 3rd or 4th depending on when the weekend falls. It's one of the most miserable days of the year and this phase lasts through the Super Bowl. It's the winter, which sucks, but there's some false hope in this part of the winter. People have their New Year's resolutions and "new year, new me" mentality. They might be doing Dry January. They've falsely convinced themselves they'll be a new person this year. And the reason this phase isn't TOO miserable is that we still have playoff football and the Super Bowl. 

Phase 2 - The Dark Days

Day After Super Bowl - March Madness/St. Patrick's Day

Undoubtedly the worst part of the year. The dark days of winter. No football. Barely any sports. Awful weather. You keep thinking the weather's going to get warm and it just never does. You may even get that one fake spring day on like February 26th where it's randomly 61 degrees but then snows the next day. This is when seasonal depression kicks in and people are at their lowest. 

Phase 3 - Spring

March Madness/St. Patrick's Day - Memorial Day Weekend

This is just good ole fashioned spring. The start of March Madness and St. Paddy's Day weekend usually coincide with each other and it's also right around when the weather starts to get warmer. Usually leads to an awesome Saturday of day drinking (or dartying as the kids call it). And then we just get two months of spring. The weather is getting warmer. Summer is at our fingertips. It's arguably the most optimistic time of year where vibes are just good and you're excited for what's to come. 

Phase 4 - Summer 1

Memorial Day Weekend - July 4th

Probably my favorite time of the year. The summer has begun and you're thinking "This is just the start of summer! We still have the whole summer ahead of us!" People also probably haven't started taking as many trips yet so everyone is around more. Rooftop bars. Warm weather where it's not unbearably hot yet. NBA Finals and Stanley Cup. Just a fantastic ~six weeks. 

Phase 5 - Summer 2

July 4th - Labor Day

Still summer. Still great. But people have probably started to take more vacations. Either week long trips or leaving the city on the weekends. Also will get some unbearably hot days. And in August the thoughts inevitably start to creep in of "Uh oh summer is almost over." But I do think it's important to still enjoy these days because it's still the summer and the summer is awesome. 

Phase 6 - Fall

Day After Labor Day - Thanksgiving Eve

That brings us to today. The start of Phase 6 and the unofficial but basically official start of fall. Kids are back in school/college. The NFL starts this week. Summer trips are over. It's officially September. There is an undeniable energy shift today. It's still hot right now but eventually we'll get that classic autumn crisp in the air. October baseball. Halloween. Apple picking. Ciders. Etc. It's just classic fall. I used to hate fall as a kid because I associated it with going back to school but I'm learning to love it as an adult. 

Phase 7 - Holidays

Thanksgiving Eve through Christmas Day

This starts the second you get home on Thanksgiving Eve and lasts through Christmas Day. Just a month straight of eating a lot, drinking a lot, seeing your family, holiday decorations, egg nog, Christmas parties, etc. Obviously a lot more fun when you're a kid but still enjoyable as an adult. The downside is it's getting colder but you have to be a real miserable Grinch if the holiday season doesn't at least bring you some joy. 

Phase 8 - ????

Day After Christmas - Going Back to Work After New Year's

Some would say one week doesn't deserve its own phase, but I disagree. It's such a weird and distinct time of the year that it needs to be separate. A lot of people have off/take off from work but even if you don't, nobody is doing anything. It's a week where time stands still and feels like a bend in the space-time continuum. You're never quite sure what day of the week it is. A day can either feel like it's 20 minutes long or 20 days long. This lasts until you go back to work and start Phase 1 of the next year. 

So there are my 8 phases of the year. It's an undeniably excellent way to split things up. Here's what my ranking would be from worst to best. 

8. Phase 2

7. Phase 1

6. Phase 8

5. Phase 7

4. Phase 3

3. Phase 6

2. Phase 5 

1. Phase 4

Happy Phase 6 everyone!