The Internet Has Declared the Biggest Winner of the NFL Kickoff Game: Melissa Hutchinson

There are few things that are as grating over the course of a long football season as when each and every broadcast fixates on one particular figure. A recent example was JJ Watt. To the point where the networks were clearly dedicating a camera to do nothing but follow him around and provide a reaction shot for every single play. Even when he was on IR and on the sidelines in street clothes. As I said a few years ago, a UFO could land at midfield and the cameras would've cut to Watt. "You think JJ Watt isn't excited about discovering we are not alone in the universe? Look at that reaction. Man oh man, is he ever excited about this First Contact moment!" And it went on for years. 

Other examples: The Ryan Brothers. We saw them ad nauseum, due to the fact they were so demonstrative and, you have to admit, kind of ridiculous with their-over-the-top facial expressions. At least with Rex they had the excuse of him being the head coach and all. Rob was getting that treatment so much at every stop he made as an assistant, a casual fan could've been forgiven for thinking he was the head coach. 

And the current guy on the receiving end of this blanket coverage is Travis Kelce. Not that he minds. I'm 95% convinced he hyperextended his knee sprinting across the field to hijack another Patrick Mahomes interview. Seeking attention kind of his jam.

But last night's season opener had other media superstars that NBC just couldn't get enough of. And not for the first time. Suffice to say we're going to be seeing more of The Hutchinsons than any other family on television in the months to come. And the internet doesn't seem to have a problem with at least one of them getting the most face time.

She even got more attention that a certain beauty queen who stands to inherit a substantial portion of the Super Bowl champions who hosted the game:

And it shouldn't have been lost on anyone that Cris Collinsworth was smitten:

And to that I can only say, good for Melissa Hutchinson! What could be more wholesome, down home Americana than football and motherhood? And the only thing we celebrate more than a proud mom is a proud mom who is also a major Instagram presence:

Melissa Hutchinson is living the life that has so far been denied Zach Wilson's mom Lisa, due to his ineffectiveness. (Though, one can assume, without the rumors of her son boning her girlfriends that Lisa has had to contend with.) Fame and popularity await this woman, if it's not already here. The cameras love her. The TV analysts love her. The American public loves her. And if the NFL's broadcast partners plan on over-saturating the game season with cutaway shots of someone until they become overexposed and it becomes ridiculous (spoiler: they do), then by all means let it be her. She's the mortal lock to be the 2023 Most Valuable Mom, and we'll never grow sick of her.