Joining The Mile High Club As The Entire Plane Cheers You On = Awesome. Your Mom Finding Out You Joined The Mile High Club Because You Went Viral = Not Awesome
Despite working here for damn near a decade at the old Barstool, the PENN Barstool, and now Portnoy's new old Barstool, I've never been sure what the rules are for showing two people that you can clearly tell are fucking in an airplane bathroom. So if you want to watch the video, you can see it by clicking here. Take your time, we'll wait.
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Alright you knew that was coming. I truly don’t know the rules though but here is the real video, scout's blogger's honor.
So I have a few thoughts about all the mayhem that took place there:
1. I don't know much about Easyjet other than it's a European budget airline that occasionally gives us a viral video or story about some sort of calamity taking place 30,000 feet above the ground. I figured they were just the Spirit or Frontier of our pals across the pond.
But I don't think even those two trashy airlines would have a flight attendant open a bathroom door while the entire plane watched, even if you hear people fucking and can smell the sex in the air. I feel like that'll get your ass fired, cancelled, and a bunch of other negative words that end in "ed". I love that EasyJet is apparently a party plane that lets loose like it’s the WWE during the 2000s.
2. That being said, I love how Brits always seem like uppity blokes with their proper accents, fancy clothes, and devotion to drinking tea. But they are a lowkey horny bunch that can get rowdy when a few warm pints of ale are flowing through their systems. I like to think of us Americans as the crazier younger brother of British folks who lead the league in fucking on airplanes. However, seeing this party atmosphere on this flight has me reevaluating my stance on that, even though I'm positive we fight on airplanes more than any country on the planet.
3. I've never even dreamed of joining the Mile High Club because my fat ass can barely fit in an airplane bathroom by myself, which is why I wait to piss until riiiiiight before my section boards a plane. But it does seem like one of those cool bucket list things to do since it's unique, has that fun danger aspect to it like using a fake ID at a bar, and who doesn't love cumming?
There is really no downside to joining the Mile High Club other than the one in a billion chance that you go super viral for getting caught in the act, like this poor son of a bitch.
The Sun- A MORTIFIED mum has told of her shock after her son’s mile-high club antics went viral. Piers Sawyer romped with the unnamed woman in a toilet on his 23rd birthday as they jetted to Ibiza. Mum Elaine said her son had only just met the girl at the airport before boarding the easyJet flight.
Elaine, 51, was left stunned when pals started sending her the footage. She said: “I was watching Loose Women and they were talking about it on there, and some of Piers’s friends started sending me the clip. “It’s not something a mum wants to see.
“You’re aware these things are going to happen at the holiday destination but you don’t expect it to happen on the flight.
“But he’s a 23-year-old single lad on his birthday, going to Ibiza. It’s a party plane.
First of all, the people that sent Piers' mom the link to the video are not his friends. If you are a true friend, you send that link to every single person you know EXCEPT for anybody that may forward to his mom. Anybody that sends their friend's mom a video of their kid having sex is not a friend. That is an enemy.
Now I feel bad for Piers because watching a movie with your parents can quickly become an awkward nightmare if a sex scene pops out of nowhere. Now times that awkwardness by a hundred thousand trillion and that's what it must feel like to simply know you mom watched you having sex in real life.
However, I can't feel too bad for Piers considering he had birthday sex with a lovely young lady while on his was to IBIZA and got a thunderous applause for his efforts.
But once you get back from vacation and the rush of going viral wears off, you still have to spend the rest of your life looking your mom in the eyes that watched your literal entry into the Mile High Club, which is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. Actually my worst enemy is the Empire State Building and that oversized loser is a virgin that will never have sex let alone join the Mile High Club. But the point remains.
P.S. How about the Brits having a show called Loose Women that moms watch? Truly the most proper freaks on the globe while wearing their fancy top hats with ascots and I love it.