Video: Chinese Brewery Employee Caught Pissing in The Beer Tank

Just when China had finally overcome the "we pee in your Coke" allegations, some asshole at the Tsingtao Brewery has to go and set the country back decades by reinforcing a stereotype that was never true in the first place. What a shame. That's like if you caught an Australian playing boomerang with his pet kangaroo. Or if your French foreign exchange student dressed like mime and carried around a baguette between classes. I hadn't even thought about that racist nursery rhyme in years. You know how it goes, "Me Chinese, me drink--" actually... no I don't think I should type that out. You've heard the rhyme. It was perfectly acceptable to sing on the playground in the early 2000's, but in 2023, Barstool Sports can't even say it. Look how far we've come as a country. Pat yourselves on the back America. We've ended racism. 

There are so many acceptable places to pee that aren't a beer tank. There are so many bathrooms in the world. You can pretty much go anywhere you want to outside. A consenting woman with a piss fetish is perfectly fine. Even sinks as long as nobody sees you. But not in the giant tank of Tsingtao Premium Lager that's being distributed to the masses. Beer tank is on the very top of the "don't pee" list. 

But if you'll allow me to play Devil's Advocate for a second... that's a pretty big tank. I bet there's well over 10,000 beers that come from that tank. Maybe 100,000. What is a single man's piss really hurting? Everyone knows pee is sterile. Alcohol kills germs anyways. And I bet that employee was overworked. Think of all the delicious beers he's manufactured for the great people of communist China. The man probably spends over half his life working on that beer tank. He probably has to taste test the beer himself. That's an important job.  And if you're spending all day beer tasting, eventually you're going to break the seal. He likely has to pee every 10 minutes. There's no time to go all the way to restroom. Not on Chinese factory time. Plus he's drunk. When you're drunk, the world is your toilet.

But to be safe, maybe skip the Tsingtao Premium Lager during you next trip to the beer store. Go with the Bud Light instead. I think we're allowed to drink that again. Travis Kelce says it's cool.