Florida Man Cited for Driving an Illegal 'Booty Patrol' Truck. I Thought This Was a Free Country.

Source - A Florida man was cited this week for driving a truck that was painted similar to the look of Border Patrol vehicles but read “Booty Patrol” on the back, authorities said.

The driver was pulled over Sunday and cited under a law that deals with prohibited vehicle lights that resemble those of law enforcement or other officials, the DeSoto County Sheriff’s Office said Tuesday.

On Monday, the sheriff’s office posted photos of the truck on social media to raise awareness about people impersonating authorities. ...

The truck had red and blue lights and had been seen in several counties, the sheriff's office said.

We used to be a proper country. It's a sad, sad state of affairs when a dedicated Chick Hound can't patrol the streets in his cherry ride, attracting the babes. We might as well be the Soviet Union. Actually, strike that. Those Commie bastards might have been godless pinkos who tried to put nukes in Cuba and sent a 'roided up freak to a sacred place like Las Vegas to kill Apollo Creed, but they would've respected a man for having game like this guy. 

So what if his whip looks like a Border Patrol vehicle from a distance? He couldn't have made it any clearer. It's all there in green and white. And black and white, as it says right on the door, "National Booty Behavior Protection." I mean, he literally spelled it out for you.

Besides, maybe Border Patrol looks too much like the Booty Patrol. Maybe they're the ones causing the dangerous confusion. Did you ever think of that, DeSoto County Sheriff's Office? What if some female approaches this guy because she wants to be found by a gentleman who appreciates a fine booty. Now instead, she's confronted by law enforcement who just wants to know if she's in Florida legally or on an expired visa or whatever. Imagine how she feels, instead of worrying about federal agents trying to do their jobs.

Can't a man in America just trick out his ride at ridiculous expense in order to let the world know he's looking for that sweet, sweet booty? If not, where does it end? Next is The Man going to start hassling everyone who drives a Pussy Wagon?

Are you going to start charging someone with impersonating a police officer every time you spot a shirt that reads "FBI: Federal Bikini Inspector"? How is a virile, sexually active adult male expected to meet the right sort of woman if he can't advertise that he's single and ready to mingle? With her booty, in case that wasn't obvious. 

This is not how the American Experiment was supposed to go. If you told a true liberty-loving patriot and ladies man like Ben Franklin this would the sort of police state we'd be living in 250 years in the future, he'd have put this in the Bill of Rights, got out his brush and painted "POSTERIOR VIGILANCE MILITIA" or something on the sides of his horse drawn wagon. And maybe "Most Assuredly Not a Minuteman," across the back. 

I say again, this is a sad day. Be better, Florida. If Booty Patrol guy isn't free to go around flashing his lights in order to patrol for booty, can any of us truly say we are free?