Connor Stalions Once Represented Himself In Court During A Lawsuit And Claimed The Guy Suing Him Was Probably A Michigan State Fan Trying To Distract Him From Making Michigan Football Great Again

Michigan fans and the rest of the college football community will probably never agree on Connor Stalions as it relates to his status as either a hardened criminal or freedom fighter, but there is absolutely no debate that he's a Dudes Rock Hall of Famer. This guy is the best.

Stalions was sued by his homeowner association for running a vacuum cleaner resale business out of his house and not only represented himself in court, but entered into the legal record his theory that the entire suit was an elaborate scheme by Jeff the Michigan State fan from down the street to distract Stalions from his life's work of restoring the Michigan football program to its rightful glory. I actually don't care about the sign-stealing aspect of this story at all anymore, I just want more Connor Stalions content. This guy was going to work at UM all day watching video of other teams' signs like the Zapruder film, then coming home to work on his 600-page manifesto and refurbishing some vacuums for good measure before he went to bed.

Look how many vacuums he had. Where did he find the time for all of this?!

I'm obsessed with Connor Stalions. I'll read every biography and watch every documentary when those inevitably come out. He's a once-in-a-lifetime character and I hope details of his life keep trickling out forever.