The Lawrence County Pig Stare-off Is The Fiercest Competition You'll Ever See

Scenes. Absolute scenes out of Lawrence County. This competition has it all. Angry half-Amish looking children. The fattest judge you've ever seen wearing his pinkest shirt. Pigs... I guess that's about it. 

From what I gather, this is nothing more than a standard pig competition. A best pig wins situation. The judge (who just so happens to be dressed like a pig) wanders the pen, evaluating the children's pigs from hoof to snout. 

He's looking for well built pigs like himself. Pigs of immense size and scale. Hoof toes pointing in the same direction. Pigs with a steady base. Pigs with a boisterous oink. Pigs he can slice up into hundreds of pieces and serve to his family for the next couple of months. All the typical things you'd look for in a quality hog. 

The real question is why are the children so pissed off? Or maybe that's a stupid question. That's like asking Kobe Bryant why he didn't smile at his opponents. These kids are stone cold killers. They didn't show up to make friends. They haven't been waking up at the crack of dawn to feed, brush, massage or whatever the fuck you have to do to your pigs to prepare them for competition just to show up and pal around with their farm friends. They're there for the hardware (i.e. a oversized blue ribbon and a picture with mayor)

Or maybe they're just mad because they're forced to dress like it's Colonial Williamsburg and they don't have working electricity at home.