The Worst Hematoma I Have Seen In A Long Time
First off, hematomas often look a lot worse than they feel.
By definition, they are just bad bruises where blood collects and pools under the skin. And that pooling blood gives the skin a spongy, rubbery, lumpy feel. They are not usually a cause for concern when compared to something fatal, such as a blood clot in a vein... And if any doctors are reading this who disagree with what I just wrote, keep it to yourself... I am doing my best.
Even though I am talking them down, hematomas look fucking awful... Particularly when they are on a fighter's head. One of the worst I have ever seen was Hassim Rahman's second forehead after his loss to Evander Holyfield...
![](https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/getty/2023/12/04/GettyImages-645291.a49609e9.webp?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75)
(You could easily put a small baseball cap on that thing.)
And the absolute worst was UFC's Joanna Jedrzejczyk looking like The Great Gazoo after the Polish fighter suffered a painful defeat to Weili Zhang in 2020…
![](https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/getty/2022/05/24/GettyImages-1211097613.fa5e494d.jpeg?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75)
Here's a picture of Gazoo for reference…
But this weekend was also one of the worst I have ever witnessed live.
![](https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2023/12/04/-WP1rnmA.5280e40b.jpg?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75)
BYB is the extreme bare-knuckle boxing league, and their fights are typically savage. They don't fight in a square ring. Nor do they battle in an octagon. Instead, these sick fucks duke it out in a tiny triangular-shaped platform that creates three tight 60-degree corners for fighters to get trapped in and then get bludgeoned by their opponent.
And that is kind of what happened this weekend when a young man named Julio Tanori took down Mark Irwin by majority decision to become the BYB Lightweight Champ…
![](https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2023/12/04/fR7qlVUJ.f23ca71f.jpg?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75)
Mark walked out of the ring looking like the fucking Elephant Man.
![](https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2023/12/04/04Bd5x92.0485ea52.jpg?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75)
Here is a sketch of The Elephant Man for reference…
![](https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/getty/2023/12/04/GettyImages-615292286.bc106325.webp?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75)
Bare-knuckle is built to inflict damage like this, which is why I never enjoyed watching Paige VanZant's adorable face get pounded in…
![](https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/getty/2023/12/04/GettyImages-1230995531.156f6c71.webp?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75)
Paige eventually came to her senses when she walked away from fighting and walked towards OnlyFans, where people won't see her physically box but might get a glimpse at her actual box…
![](https://chumley.barstoolsports.com/union/2023/09/01/Screenshot-2023-09-01-at-11.39.49-AM.0a874502.png?fit=bounds&format=pjpg&auto=webp&quality=85%2C75)
I don't think Mark Irwin has that option… I certainly wouldn't pay a monthly nut to see both of his… But hopefully, with some cold compresses and rest, he'll be back to fighting shape in no time.
Speedy recovery, and take a report.
-Large
While I have you here… This Friday, I am expecting to see multiple hematomas when I am ringside for Gillie & Wallo's Knockout Party…
Hope to see you there because I am fucking terrified.
TAR
-L