Live EventBig Cat and Co Sweat Out the Week 16 Sunday Slate | Barstool Gambling CaveWatch Now

The Highlight Of UTSA's Head Coach Jeff Traylor's Career: Coffee Running Down His Ass Crack After Winning The Frisco Bowl

For anyone who complains about bowl games not mattering, I want you to think of this quote. I want you to think of Jeff Traylor's ass crack covered in coffee. That's how you know these games matter for some. You willing to get coffee up in your ass that's not a butt chug on a Tuesday night for no reason? I don't think so. Look at how happy he is! 

That's an iced coffee shower right there. Good luck sleeping after winning a bowl game with a backup quarterback and having coffee in your orifices. Granted it's not just any backup quarterback. It's the son of former NFL player who beat another son of an NFL player: 

I know everyone wants to complain that bowl games don't matter because of the opt-outs and playoffs meaning everything. But not to UTSA. It's not like they'll make a playoff, so they settle for a bowl where you get doused in coffee instead. Not a bad second option. We're talking college football here, I prefer this. I prefer guys caring. I prefer guys celebrating one of the 40 bowl games they are in. Why not? We used to, we need to get back to that. 

Real question is how long do you gotta shower to get all that coffee out of your ass? You can't let it sit. You gotta hop in right away and let that water spray you in the ass like a bidet. Incredible quote.