I just got nailed, and I'd like to know by who?

Since I am not in the office every day, I share a desk with a couple of people who were not given their own spot on the second floor.  There is normally no downside to this, and if I show up later than any squatter who may be at my desk, they always have the decency to get the fuck out.

I said, "There is normally no downside" because there are always exceptions, and I just got hit with 2.

Yesterday, I got to my spot bright and early and found this beauty smack-dab in the middle of my desk...

And today, I strolled in less bright and less early and found this gem…

If my photography skills are not up to par, those pictures are of a fingernail and a used Band-Aid.

Now, I don't enjoy complaining about office conditions.  Nor do I begrudge the Chicago guys for having a $20 million HQ that rivals any fantasy factory I have seen in the past.  But I think I need to launch an investigation into who the culprit(s) might be and then declare a proper jihad against said culprits because I am starting to feel like I am working at a public pool.

I am rifling through my mind about what I would least like to find on my desk and (outside of any bodily fluid) fingernail and used Band-Aid are in the top 5 worst options, so I need to get to the bottom of this before my "Midnight Litterer" ups his game and decides to leave me a milky load.

Who could it be?… Drop a guess in the comments, if you have a hunch.

Take a report.

-Large