Who The Fuck Is "Ohio's Tate" And Why Is He Calling Me Lazy?
It's been quite a week at Barstool NYC HQ, with a lot of eyes on me as I've been tapped to help rejuvenate and continue on one of Barstool's flagship shows, Barstool Radio. I was given the news on January 3rd, with the promise of a "slow transition over the next few weeks." Kevin decided he wanted to jump ship 5 days later, our takeover now starting abruptly on January 10th. The past 13 days (of radio) have been a bit of a bumpy start, as we try and find our footing and turn the show into something that highlights the best of us, and brings some pride and positivity to the NYC office. Because I'm the one who took initiative, I'm of course being penalized. I've become the punching bag of the New York Office, the direct cause of "our downfall," and according to Nate, solely responsible for content being (historically) slow on Fridays.
I'd like to say I'm surprised, but what comes with PERCEIVED power, comes the peons who want to take you down. Enter this complete stranger, Ohio's Tate.
After asking a few people who this person was, I was reminded of someone who competed on Barstool Idol back in 2018. A teacher from Ohio who was about to be eliminated, but instead begged for a part time blogger job because he "couldn't do the challenges anymore." A man who couldn't keep up with one WEEK of full time content in 2018, is telling me that I'm lazy. Nevertheless, I'm glad that the people of Ohio have such a strong champion in their corner.
Tate seems to now have a massive issue with me after a few flippant comments I made on Barstool Radio about my makeup. He's questioning my work ethic, and he's been waiting ALL DAY to really stick it to me. Tuck your boner away for this one Tate, I have a feeling you're not going to be flying so high and mighty after this. If we're playing the numbers game, let's go back to a time where even our most esteemed writers at Barstool Sports were confused about your employment. From November 1, 2022 until May 31, 2023, Ohio's Tate wrote a WHOPPING 30 blogs. Wow! You really broke your back those 7 months, dude! I'm sure it was well worth the part time salary you're being paid to write 35 blogs a month, which yes, may be half of the base level salary that I, and many other Barstool Employees have. More transparency on that - I have never once asked for a raise, I have never once complained about my salary or questioned if anyone else deserves what they're being paid. I make mid 5 figures, just like a lot of other people do. Once you started picking up the pace, Tate, it seems you surpassed me by 9 blogs in 2023.
I can't imagine how I was able to keep up while I was doing…
Three seasons of Cutting Stems (roughly 35 episodes)
18 Episodes of The Dozen
Was elected President of the New York Office by my peers
Two marketing trips for High Noon
Two guest appearance on Chicks In The Office live shows
20 episodes of Taylor Watch
55 episodes of On The Other Line (RIP)
Hosted the Surviving Barstool season Finale
So to break it down - 100+ straight hours of scheduled on camera content, not including the countless other events, shows and segments I got my hands on in 2023. I've never said no to anything that's ever been asked of me, I've filled in for others at the last second on ANY occasion, I am constantly available and willing to participate. Anyone in content, sales, production or otherwise, can vouch for this.
Let's go back to 2022 and compare the numbers:
Wow! Even LESS! Certainly nowhere near the 35 blogs required to fulfill your part time salary requirements. My numbers dipped as well, but I missed a couple weeks while I was competing on a two week long reality show sponsored by High Noon, a second season of a show that I also participated on the first season, the year prior. And I didn't even have weekly Taylor Swift news! Those are his numbers for the whole year! So, while we know that Tate didn't do any more than 30 blogs in 7 months (his only responsibility at Barstool) in 2023, it seems he did even LESS than that for the entirety of 2022! Interesting stuff. And, a reminder, he wasn't going to be hired at all until he begged, and seems to be (quoting Nate) very bitter about the fact that I am full time, and he is not.
"Ohio's Tate" also seems to have a problem with listening comprehension, which seems to be an important thing to have as a teacher, while he tried to "gotcha" me on "not blogging on Fridays." He took the time to look through the past 8 weeks to "reveal" that blogs hadn't been published on those Friday dates. If he listened carefully, I said I WRITE on Fridays. Specifically, my ever-growing Whine With Kelly newsletter. Something I took the initiative on knowing my audience and the core Barstool audience don't always overlap. Each newsletter contains roughly 5 blogs, aimed at an audience that doesn't necessarily consume the Barstool blog but needs to be brought into the Barstool universe. My Barstool blog priority was made clear by Dave Portnoy - Taylor Swift. I've sent out 8 newsletters since its inception on November 6th, and grown an audience of 5,000 people organically, with zero promotion from Barstool accounts apart from my personal Twitter and Instagram (and I didn't ASK for Barstool promotion, either.) The last two weeks, yes, have taken a hit because my mind is on one thing - Barstool Radio.
So again, I decided to expand my worth and provide another outlet that can be sold to advertisers directly, with a different audience than we already have. The sales team loves it, by the way. Shoutout to Pie Wine, who also sponsored 8 videos of mine on the Whine With Kelly accounts.
As for complaining about putting on makeup, that's real. Of course that's not an excuse not to come to work, and god forbid I exaggerate something, but am I not allowed to complain about a daily inconvenience? Am I not allowed to say my real feelings on my own show? Are you telling me what my feelings are supposed to be, Ohio's Tate? Am I not allowed to bitch about the fact that I can't be on camera all day every day (something you know nothing about) without getting ripped apart and not taken seriously on the internet for my looks (women, am I right), unless I have on a full face and blowout? Am I being chastised for not abandoning who I am at my core, and instead being "one of the boys?" Is it a crime that I have an image to uphold, an image that directly reflects upon the company? Is there any world where you have a little bit of texture in that smooth brain to understand the Barstool audience expands past Twitter and the blog? Maybe if you took the time to stop looking like such a fucking slob, you'd be in charge of Barstool Radio.
Listen, I understand. Times are tough. Nobody knows who you are after 6 years of "employment," and you have to insert yourself in shit that doesn't even BEGIN to concern you every 6 months to earn that well deserved paycheck. The advertiser phones have been ringing off the hook, "WE WANT TATE! WE WANT NICHE OHIO SPORTS BLOGS! NOTHING ELSE!" As someone who has been grinding to be a part of Barstool since 2015, and only becoming full time in 2020, I understand the struggle of clawing your way in. Unfortunately for you Tate, you picked the wrong bitch. You wanted my attention? You've got it. Be careful what you wish for.
Tune into Barstool Radio every Monday through Thursday, and now FRIDAY TOO!