Genius: We're Getting The First Ever 'Doink Camera' At The Super Bowl So We Can Watch Someone's Heart Get Ripped Out Up Close And Personal

This is exactly what we needed. I don't know how we didn't get a doink camera right after Cody Parkey. I feel bad for my Bears pals, but Parkey really re-defined the whole doink aspect to football. But we need this at the Super Bowl, it's the perfect way to start putting it into the universe. We see a lot of game-winning kicks or plays at this game, but a good old fashioned doink and seeing hearts get ripped out? We're all sick enough to love that just as much. 

They are embedding them into the goal posts, so we get to see it even more up close and personal. Yeah, I can admit it. I'm cheering for a backbreaking doink now. I need to see the camera angle. I need to see the pain as close as possible because I have no rooting interest in this game. Not like I'm a Chiefs or Niners fan. You don't install a doink camera without having the expectation of a doink. I mean you got a rookie kicker in Jake Moody for the Niners. Prime target right there. 

I know people love arguing about the best sounds in sports. A doink is high up there, especially if it's against your team. Nothing like a loud thud where everyone rushes to Twitter to scream out 'doink.' A perfect word really. You can hear that sound too if you close your eyes. I don't care how expensive this is, we need it for every game. I know it's special in the Super Bowl. But add it to a Tuesday MAC game. Weird shit happens there all the time, you know a doink is coming. 

I would have loved to be in the meeting when they decided to do this. You know some guy who hates the Bears pitched it. Just standing up with a power point asking everyone to hear him out as he says this is what America needs. Everyone talking about Taylor Swift or Olivia Culpo, no, doink camera is there to save everyone. Plus add super slow-mo so you can really see the heartbreak. Nothing more beautiful in American sports than seeing that.