A New York Tax Preparer That Goes By "The Magician" Has Been Arrested By The IRS In An Alleged $100,000,000 Scheme
Oh wow, before we begin, I think we need to update our Nickname Rankings now. Because a tax preparer with the nickname of "The Magician" is right up there with the best nicknames in world history. It just fits so well, making your financial problems disappear. So now we've got Dr. J, Broadway Joe, The Juice (don't RIP), and The Magician. He totally just one upped Magic Johnson, but who cares about a basketball player with aids when you've got the ability to save people millions of dollars. Actually, a hundred million dollars, until the IRS came and took him away yesterday...
Rafael Alvarez was charged Monday morning on federal tax and conspiracy counts. Federal prosecutors said the 60-year-old engaged in a scheme to submit thousands of false tax returns for more than 10 years, stealing more than $100 million. Alvarez grossed more than $15 million for his Atax New York firm, according to the feds.
What a moment for the IRS. A hundred milly and the ability to drop this prepared line that you know they worked on for a week alone?
"While Alvarez may have been known as 'the Magician,' he can’t say abracadabra and make these charges disappear," said IRS-CI Special Agent in Charge Thomas Fattorusso.
Haha. Hahahahah. Hahhhhahhaha. Fattorusso was in his bag on that one! (Need a visual on Fattorusso. If he's anything under 315, shame on him)
Anyways, this story intrigues me because I just had my own tax situation the other day. Saw with my own two eyes the Post Office close down early and fuck 50+ people at once, and it got me to wondering, what happens if you just don't do it?
But after seeing The Magician go down, my stance has changed. Fine. I'll pay my fucking taxes. And I know I took an unnecessary cheap shot at McDonalds workers in that, which I apologize for, but I stand by the fact that there's some absolute ass clowns in this country that there's NO WAY they go through the hassle of paying their taxes. The Magician is going away for a long time, but what happens to my neighbors back in the slums of Ohio that make 40K per year and think taxation is theft so they just don't pay it?
Either way, what happens when your tax preparer gets arrested? Does he take the entire fall, or do you go down with him? Hopefully the Magician doesn't reveal his secrets, but I'd imagine there are some very rich people in NY that are sweating this morning. And I'm sure people are going to be on my ass for asking such a dumb question, but as you can tell from my past couple days, I clearly don't know anything about taxation. I will be hiring someone next year for sure.