NEWS FLASH- North Korea Is Different.

Giphy Images.

And by "different," I mean "worse."

Here are some of their fucked up rules…

Since 2013, North Korean men and women have been forced to wear 1 of 28 approved hairstyles (10 for men and 18 for women)… And Kim Jong Un’s iconic high-top fade is unfortunately not one of them.  

Getty Images.

And in North Korea, there are no foreign movies, Holy Bibles, or international calls… In 2007, a janitor was executed in front of 150,000 people for making calls out of the country. 

Oh, and you're not allowed to smile publicly on July 8th, the anniversary of Kim Jong-Un’s grandfather's death.

Here's another one that hits home… North Korea forbids the possession, production, distribution, and importation of pornography, and infractions are punished harshly by the government.  Therefore, Korean gentlemen must settle for when the occasional K-Pop star squeezes herself…

(Off with her head!)

Or some gameshow where female contestants try to pick up Poty-It notes with their tits…

And since we are in the midst of the NBA playoffs, I think it is a good time to remind everyone Kim Jong Un and his late father Kim Jong Il love(d) hoops, but they bastardized the rules by which it is played in their country for some reason.

How exactly?

- Slam Dunks are worth 3 points.

- Three-point shots are awarded four points if the ball doesn’t touch the rim. 

- One point is deducted for every missed free throw shot.

- Any field goal made in the last three seconds of a game is given eight points. 

- And all games can end in a tie. 

Do you know what that leads me to believe?  With a little creative doctoring of a birth certificate, the best player on the North Korean National Team could one day be this man…

Take a report.

-Large


There are a shitload more rules and regulations throughout history that make next to no sense, and we break them all down on the latest episode of Twisted History… Give it a listen,

TAR

-L