Tom Brady Blasts the Selfishness of 'a Lot of Fucking Kids These Days' Who Make Everything 'All About Them'

When you have the looks, the energy, the athletic prowess, and the raw animal magnetism of a Tom Brady, you're afforded certain privileges. 

For instance, while I make it my policy to try to avoid the trope of the Old Man Complaining About These Darn Kids Nowadays. That point of view has been around since Socrates said, “The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.”  And that was long before he ever set foot in the San Dimas Mall with Bill and Ted. 

But again, normal rules do not apply to Brady. What might come across as the Grandpa Simpson meme if another man said it, is very much worth listening to when it comes out of his perfectly proportioned mouth. On the same podcast where he revealed he's not ruling out unretiring yet again to come back to New England to fill that GOAT-shaped hole that's been in my heart since 2020:

... he also had this to say:

"And I think the biggest problem with a lot of fucking kids these days is it’s all about them. It’s all about them. Their brand, their social media. When it’s about me and not us, well there’s no way to succeed as a team if all you’re doing is thinking about how selfish it is for you to get the attention."

Now, even as I listen to him speak these words, I can hear the cynical among you say, "That's big talk coming from a guy with his own lifestyle brand." And to that I would respond, "He's just being a businessman." 

And you might then say," He's posted 458 times to his 15 million Instagram followers." And I'll reply, "He never even got on social media until he'd already established himself as the greatest ever at his profession."

Then you might come back with, "How can he talk about selfishness and wanting attention when he formed a production company just to do a documentary series about himself." And I retort, "The public was interested in knowing about his life after he'd kept it so private for so long." 

To which you might say, "Explain this then:"

And I'll say, "Fuck all the way off." 

The point being … I think I lost the point in all that arguing in my head. The point being, he's not wrong. This is what happens when you're so successful that your career spans generations. In NFL terms, his has spanned a good four or five generations. The highlights of his first Super Bowl predate even hi-def, and are all in that grainy, 4:3 aspect ratio. As he was winning his third, Mark Zuckerberg was awkwardly striking out with Harvard coeds and his website still had the "The." Hell, the iPhone came out the same year he was going 16-0 while breaking the record book with Randy Moss. 

Besides, he was brought into the league by the most serious, no-frills organization in all of pro football. Where putting team before self was more than a sign on the locker room wall; it was a way of life. He was mentored by warriors who lived a Spartan existence of self-denial. Ty Law. Troy Brown. Tedy Bruschi. So the idea of teams in 2023 scheduling breaks in the middle of meetings so players can check their TikTok has to make about as much sense to him as it would have to Bronko Nagurski. 

But what he's seeing now, and undoubtedly what he dealt with in Tampa that caused him to retire for a second time, is the direct opposite of how he always conducted himself. He's witnessed first hand the results of the Participation Ribbon generation. Where every event in a child's life is to be celebrated. Every noncomplishment considered an actual accomplishment. And recorded for all posterity. Tee ball. Soccer. Kindgergarten graduation. Fourth grade graduation. Eighth grade graduation. Elaborate promposals. Carefully staged engagements so everyone can capture the moment. Gender Reveal parties! Can you imagine what it's like for an old school professional like Brady, who spent 20 years hearing his coach tear him apart in front of the whole team with "Johnny Foxboro from the high school could make that throw," trying to relate to teammates who throw Gender Reveal parties?

Tom Brady is a serious man, stuck in very unserious times. And as far as I'm concerned, it's all the more reason he needs to come back to New England to show yet another generation how winning is done. Make it so.