The Inside Scoop on Klemmer's Rat Race
Cracking the knuckles and dusting off the ole keyboard to give a little inside scoop and review of ‘Klemmer’s Rat Race’
Two months ago I got a text from one of Barstool’s producers, Booz, asking me if I wanted to do the show. If I’m being honest, I had no idea what I was signing up for but I’m a company woman as well as a “down ass bitch." So I replied “Oh fuck yeah, I’m all in.”
Originally, Fiets and I were paired up to be a team, which was another component of why I agreed to do the show. I figured the two of us rarely ever get a chance to work on something together and we could have a few laughs while doing it.
Somewhere down the line, partners changed and Gia and I became a team. I was stoked. Me and G always have a blast when we’re together and she has the upper hand because she’s done the show before. We kinda had this in the bag.
A month later, we arrived at 7 am to film the show. First order of business, all of our phones are seized under Klemmer reign. Now listen, I'm not much of an early riser and I’m chronically addicted to my phone. So for this smile shot alone, I may just be nominated for a Golden Globe…
(Side Note: Francis and I coordinated our outfits to match. We’re like best friends, always giggling and gossiping together. I even helped him when he had some legal troubles, no one in the office really knows that.)
When Klemmer started to explain the game, I finally realized what I was getting myself into. In all honesty, I should really be more in the loop with things, also watching the previous episode would have been beneficial…
This is the moment I realized this might end up being a pretty brutal excursion:
I mean, one of these poor bastards didn’t even have to show face this day….
Like I said, I gotta start reading these emails in their entirety because up until right before we left to start the race I had no idea we were playing for a cash prize. When Klemmer mentioned that, I was all the way back in.
Inside Info: I had no idea Fiets had a stack of cash that whole time. I would’ve settled for $50 before even leaving the office.
In an office full of slimeballs, myself included, many people started cheating at the top of the race.
I have no idea why Klemmer made the first stop at Roosevelt Island. He literally lives there. Just out of convenience to him we could’ve started there originally or better yet, ended the day there and he could have just walked right home. The easiest means of transportation to get there is a literal tram in the sky, which means homeboy took the tram a total of 5 times that day…food for thought.
Also I’d like to point out the horror it must have been to be a producer on this show. They have no choice in the pace of the race. If we were running they had to run ahead, faster. So shoutout to all the producers that worked on this show. Soldiers.
We also didn’t have any kind of per diem to get around, which reminds me…Gia I owe you on half of this taxi ride buddy, lol.
After boxing everyone out on the tram, Gia and I were fully in the lead. Now, I want to say that I was pushed by one of my sleazy opponents but truthfully I’m just a clumsy fucking dumbass. I lost my footing, at shit, and it cost us first place. Again, sorry Gia.
I’m watching this all in real time as I write this blog and just caught wind of Klemmer saying “What an embarrassing fall from Grace.” You wanna talk about an embarrassing fall from Grace my guy…
As I continue watching, I realize now I’m just a narcissist and he actually wasn’t talking about me. Ooops!
Basically I just wanted to give a little inside scoop on how the show went down behind the scenes. If I continue on I feel myself becoming hateful while also spoiling the entirety of the show. So, if you haven’t checked it out yet please do. It’s a phenomenal watch and it gets even more cut throat and crazy for every clue we get. VIVA!
(Jesus Christ, that's a tough thumbnail)