Jerry Seinfeld is Furiously Backpedaling After Saying Howard Stern Has No 'Comedy Chops'

John Angelillo. Shutterstock Images.

It's been a strange few weeks for Jerry Seinfeld. One of the most successful and celebrated stand up comics and sitcom leads in the history of those media seems to have entered the Cranky Old Guy Who Can't Stand the Way Things Are Nowaways phase of his career. It's hard to conclude otherwise because lately he can't seem to stop stepping on rakes.

And since he's busy doing a ton of interviews promoting his Pop Tart movie that's getting savaged:

… he's found himself surrounded by rakes:

Of course there was his instantly viral claim that PC Culture killed comedy:

That claim probably would've stuck the landing about four or five years ago. If efforts to get Dave Chappelle specials taken down off Netflix had succeeded. And episodes of It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia were getting removed. Along with the Dungeons and Dragons episode of Community, for the sole reason that Ken Jeong was dressed as a Dark Elf and they were accused of promoting blackface.

But Seinfeld's gripe doesn't work anymore. Everyone realizes those efforts were neither noble or successful. Chappelle is still the king of the stand up stage. IASIP is still on. South Park is doing some of their best work. Jennifer Lawrence just starred in a comedy the plot of which is she's hired by the parents of a pathetic incel kid to swipe his V-card, and it includes a scene where J-Law has a full frontal fight scene on a beach. Which you practically never saw on the shows Seinfeld used to make his argument, like MAS*H or The Mary Tyler Moore Show. 

But even if anyone did accept his premise, within days of him saying comedy is dead and Wokeness is the murderer, the roast of Tom Brady landed to blow him out of the water. An NC-17 NSFW-apolooza with jokes about blacks, Jews, gays, lesbians, his wife having sex with her martial arts instructor, his coach doing the walk of shame out a young woman's house, vaginas and dicks. Lots and lots, and LOTS of references to dicks. And the whole American public - right, left, center, woke and unwoke - reacted in the exact same way. That was damned funny. And we need more of this. (Except Kim Kardashian's management who demanded Netflix edit out their client getting savagely booed. But they don't count.) 

So fresh off taking that L, Seinfeld is scrambling to do damage control about yet another thing he said:

Source -  Seinfeld, 70, threw shade at the host of “The Howard Stern Show” when he appeared on Dana Carvey and David Spade’s “Fly on the Wall” podcast Wednesday. 

“Howard is interesting. Howard is a great interviewer, but comedy chops, I mean, can we speak candidly?” he said. 

The “Seinfeld” creator claimed that Stern has “been outflanked” by other talented podcasters, including Carvey, 68, and Spade, 59. 

Seinfeld later apologized for his comments about Stern in a statement to Page Six Wednesday. 

“I really feel bad for what I said about my friend Howard Stern. …

“I meant to say he must feel surrounded but I said ‘outflanked’ which sounded terrible and insulting,” the stand-up comedian continued. “And of course, none of these little shows are any threat to his giant show. Anyway, it was bad and I’m sorry, Howie. I still love you. Please forgive me.”

I can see Seinfeld regretting he sounded like he was ripping a guy he's probably known for 40 years or more. He's never been the kind of guy who fuels his comedy by picking fights with people. Which, by the way, is what made Howard Stern a legend who pioneered a whole new way of doing radio that's been imitated but never duplicated. But at the same time, this is what happens when you put yourself in the position of the Wise Old Man Sitting in Judgment of Others. You're going to say things that bother the people you're criticizing. It comes with the crown you place upon your own head. 

More to the point though, he's got nothing to apologize because he's not wrong. I mean, he would've been out of his mind to say Stern doesn't have the "comedy chops" others do 20 years ago. Before Stern met his second wife and decided to become the polar opposite of what made him so great. Before he made a conscious decision to morph into the very thing he used to so brilliantly take a flamethrower to: The fawning, celebrity-worshipping sychophant. 

I'm not telling anyone anything the whole world doesn't already know. Stern has his name on two satellite radio stations, one current and the other playing his classic hits. I defy anyone listening to the old shows to flip back to the new ones and stick with it for more than 30 seconds. The difference is jarring. Going from one to the other is like gliding along the ice on skates and then hitting patch of sand. One minutes you're in hysterics to the sounds of a woman queefing to "Flight of the Bumblebee," the next you're listening to Stern tell Ellen Degeneres how much he loves when she dances. As Artie Lange has so hilariously described:

If anything, Seinfeld and Stern at this point are kindred spirits. Two guys who had their time where they understood the Zeitgeist, had their fingers on the pulse of the general public, and knew what made people laugh. But now they're past their prime. The world moved on. And them, not so much. So without a doubt, this beef will never amount to anything. Other than probably a Seinfeld appearance on Stern's show in which they'll cup each other's balls for two hours. Which would be even worse than Stern talking to some celebrity and Unfrosted combined.