The Worst Mothers In Movie And TV History
(This was one of the first blogs I did for Barstool. Then I reposted it last year. The commenters added some no-brainer additions so we're updating it again. Call your mom. Happy Mother's Day out there to all the women who have endured something you couldn't pay me all the money in the world to do. We love you and appreciate you.)
And even as a crack fiend, mama
You always was a black queen, mama
I finally understand
For a woman it ain't easy trying to raise a man
- 'Dear Mama" by Tupac Amaru Shakur
Words apropos for today from the wise scholar and poet Tupac Amaru Shakur. We should celebrate our mothers every day, but the second Sunday of May is the day we decided as a society to honor the woman who went through hell to birth us, and more hell to raise us.
Even if you weren't lucky to have an incredible mother growing up, chances are she wasn't as vile as the fictional female characters we're about to run through. So chin up. It's all about perspective. Hopefully, this list helps you to keep things in it.
Shit Mom Junior Varsity Team
Ermine Jung (George Jung's mom from Blow)
Not to be confused with Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs in the looks department, George's mom in Blow was a major "see you next Tuesday".
Anytime you call the cops on your own flesh and blood that came from your body you better have a good reason. Being ashamed that you were the talk of your triple-decker neighborhood because your son was selling weed is not one of them. Welcome to Weymoth, MA Mrs. Jung.
Poor Mr. Jung doesn't get the credit he deserves.
Imagine being married to this bitch?
Imagine your wife sending your son to jail without you knowing? On a moral righteousness power trip? While chainsmoking Pal Mal's in the house you bought and paid for?
What did he do in a past life to be sentenced to that?
Pour a stiff one of the good stuff Fred. You earned it.
Best Line - "You think people don't know you're a drug dealer. Everyone knows, its no secret. Every time I go out I'm humiliated. So you go to jail. It's for your own good. You need to straighten your life out. What are you looking at Mrs. Gracie, your son's no prize."
Mama Fratelli (from The Goonies)
The driving glove-wearing matriarch of the Fratelli crime family, Mama Fratelli pulled no punches. In the Goonies opening scene she sprang her kids from jail, then outmaneuvered multiple Crown Vic police cruisers through the streets of Astoria before leaving them in her dust on the beach. She shot two FBI agents dead when they came knocking at her and her son's hideout. All while she was raising two promising sons (Francis and Jake) to follow in her footsteps. Things were on the up and up.
Where things went wrong with Mama Fratelli, was chaining her third son Lotney to a chair in the basement with leaking water and rats, and feeding him scraps off the floor. She also severely underestimated a rag-tag group of misfit adolescents that stumbled upon her seasonal restaurant hideout. Things all went downhill from there.
She was almost able to salvage things with a hail mary at the end but her abused and neglected son turned on her and tossed her Uncle Phil style off the side of a 400-year-old pirate ship.
"Mama's been bad"
Best Line - "Kids suck."
Stiffler's Mom (From American Pie series)
Dante, how was Stiffler's milf and a half of a mother a bad mom? She let him get away with murder and oozed sex appeal.
You have to look at this from the child's (Stiffler) perspective.
Do you know how fucked up it would make your life if your mom let a kid you go to school with smash?
Your life is over. You may as well fake your death, move to Alaska, and assume somebody else's identity because that's a wrap. You could never live that one down.
Especially if she looked like this -
Best Line -
Stifler's Mom : I got some scotch.
Finch : Single malt?
Stifler's Mom : Aged eighteen years. The way I like it.
Which brings us to -
Stephanie Smith (Jimmy 'B-Rabbit' Smith's mom from 8-Mile)
Same exact premise here as from the example above. Except in this case A) Your mom is all-time sex symbol Kim Bassinger, B) you live in a trailer park, C) your high school classmate is "Greg" played by a strapping young Michael Shannon.
Game over.
Best Line - "What are you doin' with your life. THAT'S SO GREAT, RABBIT?"
Kate McAllister (Mom from Home Alone series)
Just a totally incompetent mother all the way around. How all of her kids weren't taken away from her after leaving her child for the second time while going on vacation remains one of the world's great mysteries and great failures of the American justice system.
To steal a great line about stealing lines from a great film (American History X) "Someone else has already said it best. So if you can't top it, steal from them and go out strong". And nobody has directed what a failure of a mother Kate McAllister was better than KFC, Chaps, and Clem.
Best Line - "Then maybe you should ask Santa for a new family."
Shit Mom Varsity Squad
I get in this debate what seems to be once a year. Who was the bigger POS mom AND person? Jenny from Forrest Gump? Or Ginger from Casino?
A strong case can be made for each of them and I often find myself flip-flopping.
Just last week on Barstool Radio Dave and Eddie were discussing who was worse, Tony Soprano's Sister or Mom? (If we were talking TV, Livia Soprano might take the cake in a unanimous decision. What a complete and utter bitch. Walking talking storm cloud.)
We all got in a debate about awful female characters in television and movies and I dropped the Ginger bomb. Playing the Ginger card in a debate like that, or comparing a woman to her is like dropping a "Draw Four Wild" as your last card in Uno. It trumps everything.
If you're not down with Uno then it's your loss.
Let's go to the tale of the tape.
Jenny Curran (love interest and mother to Forrest's child in Forrest Gump)
Some defend Jenny as being "misunderstood". Growing up in a broken home, abused by her father, and left to fend for herself in the fast and loose 1960's- it can be argued she was a product of her time.
I disagree.
Yes, Jenny had a horrific childhood.
Doesn't matter.
She preyed upon an autistic man for his entire life.
She got her claws in him early, and anytime she needed him, he was there for her to take advantage of.
Many of you might say, "sounds like every other woman to me", but you'd be wrong because there's more.
Not only does Jenny shove numerous boyfriends in Forrest's face throughout his life, but she always strings him along- going as far as telling him, "I'll always be your girl."
Take it easy buddy
To quote a line from Kendall Jenner, she is "in full control of where she throws that cooch".
And she throws it everywhere.
I'm no mathematician but if I had to estimate Jenny's body count based on how loose she is in just the scenes we see her in the film, multiplied by the fact it was the free-loving, over-sexed 1960's and 70's we're talking about, I would put it-
somewhere in the neighborhood of 1,600 - 1,800 (men) give or take 150 or so.
She allows Forrest to bail her out time and time again, toying with him emotions, and breaking his heart repeatedly while she jumps from lowlife hippies to white Black Panther leaders. And just when the poor guy seems like he has his life on track running a burgeoning shrimp boating business there's Jenny once again to rock Forrest's life.
Except that this time she drops in with some big news for Forrest. He has a kid she's hid from him for 6 or 7 years. She named him Forrest Jr. to try to convince Forrest he's his, which I don't think he is since she was getting around like you read about. (And apparently I'm not alone). And oh yah, she had AIDS and was dying. So nice to see you!
Just a total shit person. From beginning to end. Forrest and his son (alleged) both deserved better than Jenny Curran. Way better.
When she yelled "Run Forrest Run" he should have listened.
Best Line -
Forrest Gump: Will you marry me?
Jenny Curran: (turns and looks at him)
Forrest Gump: I'd make a good husband, Jenny?
Jenny Curran: You would, Forrest?
Forrest Gump: But you won't marry me?
Jenny Curran: You don't wanna marry me.
Forrest Gump: Why don't you love me, Jenny?
Forrest Gump: I'm not a smart man. But I know what love is.
Ginger McKenna (Love interest and mother of child to Sam Rothstein in Casino)
By far the best looking of the bunch. It might be easy to put yourself in Ace Rothstein's shoes and look at all the bullshit he put up with and STILL say, "yah but can you blame him?"
Peak Sharon Stone was not to be trifled with.
Not only did she look great in Casino but she absolutely crushed the role of psychotic, hell-bent, devil-woman.
Sam "Ace" Rothstein becomes infatuated with Ginger when he catches her on casino security cameras stealing chips from unsuspecting men. When she is caught she causes a melee throwing chips around the casino floor and laughing. Major red flag #1. Yet Rothstein becomes hooked.
He commits the biggest mistake in the book by showering her with expensive and extravagant gifts to try to impress her. Instead she turns around and gives them to her pimp, golf-hustling boyfriend Lester Diamond. (played by James Woods but I don't really think he was acting much in this role. James Woods as Lester Diamond might be the greatest casting job in the history of cinema)
Ace even pulls a Joey Greico and drops in on the unsuspecting couple and threatens Lester. Huge no-no.
The heart wants what it can't have Ace. By keeping Ginger from Lester you just pushed her closer to him. - Dr. Phil (maybe)
So after years of Ginger repeatedly fleecing Ace (dating), she says yes when he proposes. For as great as Ace was at picking winners, the guy was the definition of LOUSY when it came to women.
Their marriage starts off hot. They have a daughter they name Amy. Ginger continues to fuck Lester on the side and grift him jewelry, and then takes it a step further and starts banging Ace's friend and business partner- the hot-headed, loose-cannon Nicky Santoro.
Dont shit where you eat
This results in setting off a domino effect of what will be the demise of the mob's stranglehold on Las Vegas.
The guy just COULD NOT QUIT her.
Ginger begins using their daughter as a pawn (classic jaded wife move) and at one point even ties her up with rope and leaves her in a closet in the house alone. (A Lester Diamond concocted scheme).
What transpires is one of the greatest marriage collapses and meltdowns of all time.
Sam has to begin fearing for his life. His daughter's well being, her being kidnapped, you name it. All because Ginger is wretched.
She rats him out to the cops, takes all his money,
and heads to LA. Where she blows through all the money and overdoses on a mob ordered hit.
She leaves Ace in the hole money-wise, with their child to raise on his own, and having to watch over his shoulder the rest of his life.
Just a terrible mom, wife, woman, and human being.
Who's worse? Jenny or Ginger? A debate for the ages.
I'll leave you with another pearl from wordsmith Tupac Amaru Shakur.
And since we all came from a woman
Got our name from a woman and our game from a woman
Happy Mother's Day!
------- UPDATED ------
@chitwood
The mom from the original Friday the 13th had some issues
Mrs. Vorhees - Friday The 13th
At face value, it would seem Chitwood has lobbed up a great alley-oop here.
Mrs. Vorhees not only spawned the Devil's most unstoppable killing machine since Michael Myers, but she raised the maniac killer, and defended him. For decades!
You may call that the definition of an enabler, but from a devil's advocate standpoint, I would call that a ride-or-die bitch. Literally.
Loyal as a mother fucker.
@thegnar
Honorable Mention (tv but as good as any movie): Namond Brice’s mom from The Wire. Weebay’s old lady. Yikes!
De’Londa Brice - The Wire
Speaking of enablers, great call by @thegnar here. The Wire, wasn't a film, but it wasn't television either. ("It's not TV, it's HBO"). So we'll allow it. Just a wretched wretched piece of shit.
Once Wee-Bey goes to jail, De'Londa pushes her son, Namond, into the game. Literally encourages him to become a drug dealing gang banger.
She encourages Namond to look up to his father as a role model, and often used the word “soldier” to describe his "work". Like it's a position of honor, bravery, and loyalty.
All so that she can brag about owning her house, buy nice clothes and drive a nice car.
This is one of the worst parts of the series
And here's another where she calls her son a bitch for not wanting to go to "baby booking" and taking a fall
Just a horrible, terrible, human being.
@NSiciliano30
Cant leave Nancy Botwin from Weeds off this list, she’s gotta be in the top 3!!
Nancy Botwin - Weeds
Truth be told, I never watched this show.
Upon first glance, this lady seems like kind of a minx no?
And I know she was a drug dealer/grower right? So she's got the bad girl thing going for her as well.
I'm conflicted.
@Top_Commentator
Liv Soprano
Livia Soprano - Sopranos
Honestly, one of the reasons I wasn't a bigger fan of this show. (Did I dislike Soprano's? No moron. I just didn't think it was the greatest thing in the world like Glenny. (I think The Wire was better) Last 2 seasons kind of ruined it for me.) And this bitch.
I would use the c-word but it's Mother's Day.
Was there anybody who enjoyed or loved Livia Soprano?
God bless Tony's father for ever being attracted to somebody so fucking miserable.
Aside from her being flat-out loathsome, she also gave birth and raised two of the biggest scumbag offspring ever.
Janice and Tony it could be argued are the worst son-daughter one-two combo in the history of kids. Janice is a piece of shit, good for absolutely nothing, whore. The most needy, insecure, back stabbing bitch in the world if not for her mother.
Tony, though loveable at times, was a serial killing mob boss. Speaks for itself.
For crying out loud, Livia hired her brother in law to kill him!
Her own son!
And this wasn't some old age, sad widow shit either, she sucked since day 1.
@jmue
I would like to add Wendy Byrde from Ozarks. All around terrible mom,,, still would tho
Wendy Byrde - Ozarks
Now I know the final episodes just came out so I won't spoil anything in detail.
But where to start with this one?
Cheated on her loyal, doormat of a husband, with the fucking bad guy from Rookie Of The Year (who it would seem left Henry's single mom high and dry and started banging married women like Wendy, before being tossed off the Aqua building)
Wendy jumps knee-deep into the coke game with her handcuffed husband. Drags her kids into it. Teaches them the tools of the trade. Bribes politicians. Has her own brother killed. Pretends to look for him. Abandons and then writes off her son. Thinks he should go to jail and do time to learn a lesson. And more.
@njgiant81
Dont forget about Crisp’s mom from kindergarten cop. Supporting her son while he lit an elementary school library on fire. That family was pure evil.
This one made me laugh out loud.
This one came courtesy of comments @Scubastv6.
Gemma Teller - Sons of Anarchy
Well, if Gemma isn't just the epitome of motherhood, I don't know who is? The widow of a biker gang's founder and mother to the heir apparent, Jax, she really knows how to run a tight ship. Sure, she may not have killed as many people as her darling son, but that doesn't mean she's any less chaotic. In fact, her interference in every little incident is just admirable. Who needs peace and stability when you have Gemma around to stir up trouble at every turn?
Gemma's unpredictable behavior and refusal to change make her insanely frustrating to watch. It's just tragic that she's so self-aware of how terrible she is as a person, yet still can't manage to stop herself from being a nightmare to everyone around her. But hey, that's just what makes her so lovable, right?
Her worst moments? Well, arranging the death of her first husband, John Teller, is just a minor blip on her otherwise spotless record. Her relationship with her son is so healthy and wholesome, it makes the Full House's Tanner family look like a dysfunctional mess. Gemma's maternal instincts are just so strong that she can't help but wage psychological warfare against all of Jax's love interests, especially Tara. And of course, we can't forget about Gemma's crowning achievement: brutally murdering Tara at the end of the show's penultimate season. What a mom!
But don't worry, she's not all bad. She does have a few redeeming qualities, like her impressive paranoia, her ability to make every crisis about her, and her refusal to accept that others might know what's best for themselves. And let's not forget her unwavering belief that she's a fantastic mother, despite all evidence to the contrary. Truly, Gemma is a gem of a character.
Helene - Gone Baby Gone
This one comes from commenter @ZekeCavarrici
Rumor has it that Amy Ryan looked and sounded so convincing as a working-class Dorchester mom that a security guard mistook her for a fan on the first day of location filming and wouldn't let her on the set. One of the producers finally noticed her on the other side of one of the barricades and said she should be let through.
Helene really has it all figured out, doesn't she? Working as a drug mule on the weekends, addicted to various substances…who needs stability and a healthy home life when you have all that excitement? And let's not forget her fabulous family, who are all struggling but still manage to judge Helene for not being the perfect mother. Sure, her child's room might be filthy and devoid of furniture, but at least it's decked out in toys, right?
Thank goodness for Patrick and Angie, who come to the rescue and work tirelessly to solve the mystery of Amanda's disappearance. It takes them a while to figure out that Helene might have stolen $130,000 from a Haitian drug dealer called Cheese, but hey, better late than never, right? Who needs basic safety when you can have a little extra cash from illicit activities?
All in all, Helene is just a shining example of how to live your best life. Addicted to drugs, estranged from your family, and stealing money from dangerous criminals…
(Sidebar - It's crazy how good a job the Afleck's did in this movie. That it's almost 20 years later and people are still conflicted and debate the ending.
To quote Detective Bressant: "Fucking A! You gotta take a side. You molest a child, you beat a child, you're not on my side. If you see me coming, you better run, because I am gonna lay you the fuck down! Easy."
Aside from the incredible acting in the film, the writing is off the charts.
Casey Aflect's character Patric: "When I was young, I asked my priest how you could get to heaven and still protect yourself from all the evil in the world. He told me what God said to His children. "You are sheep among wolves. Be wise as serpents, yet innocent as doves.")
A great movie, centered on a crisis of morality that really makes you think. And Amy Ryan plays an unreal scumbag.
Did we leave any more out? If so drop them below.
Always remember, you could have had a mom like one of these. Be grateful. Happy Mother's Day!