Dabo Swinney Says Clemson's 2024 Signing Class That Contained Zero Transfers Is Actually All Transfers Because They Transferred From High School

I have to hand it to this man. There is nobody on the planet better at coming up with cringe-worthy platitudes for literally everything than Dabo Swinney. Sure, he's a self-righteous asshole whose best days are certainly behind him as he refuses to adapt to modern college football and digs himself deeper into a pit of his own creation, but he has an undeniable gift.

Dabo could have just told the truth, which is that Clemson refuses to take transfers for whatever reason and they're going to sink or swim with their own guys. I don't think that's particularly smart in today's era of college football, but it's almost admirable to a certain degree. Sure, the transfer portal is critical to success now and anybody not using it is negligent at best and moronic at worst, but if you want to say that you believe in your evaluations and guys that chose to commit to Clemson out of high school, then stand on that.

But he couldn't help himself from pulling out that line he had been rehearsing in his hotel room because it was just too good. And to his credit, that's absolutely true. I'm very glad he said this to give us all a but of college football content on a Wednesday in May.

He also ends his rant by talking about Clemson's graduation success rate as if that's something that matters even a little bit. I know coaches had to pretend to care about that 10 years ago when we were still doing the whole "student-athlete" thing, but those days are behind us, friend. These guys are going to be full-blown employees in a few years and if I ever hear one of my school's coaches boasting about graduation rates coming off anything less than a 10-win season, I'm going to be irate.

This Dabo-ism isn't quite "God's Name, Image and Likeness", but it's a solid 7.2.