Power Ranking Which Knicks Player Ripped An 'Epic Fart' In The Locker Room That Team Bonded Over Before Game 5's Ass Kicking
Look, in the playoffs you have to find different ways to stay engaged. You're stuck playing the same team every other day for a couple of weeks. I can't think of a better way than unleashing a fart so loud, so hellacious, that it stops everyone in their tracks.
Quick power rankings of who this unknown player is:
5. Tom Thibodeau - I know he's not a player, but he's keeping his guys energized. Plus Thibs seems like a huge fart guy. He's not one to hold back.
4. Jalen Brunson - The star of the team and a good chance he'd be the person to not name names. Minding his own business, probably pranked by some of the Nova guys and let out a fart before dropping 40. Kings stay kings.
3. Isaiah Hartenstein - The grinder. The guy who owns the glass. He's a big boy, big boys eat. We don't know Hartenstein's pregame ritual. Plus, he's married to Kourtney Kellar. You don't fart around Kourtney Kellar.
2. Alec Burks - The crafty veteran who is coming off the bench with next man up mentality. He's been through playoff wars with the Knicks before. He knows what it takes to keep a locker room loose. Also the name Alec is a giveaway. Alex Burks wouldn't let out a disgusting fart, but Alec does. Simple math really.
1. Josh Hart - The heavy favorite. The guy who is not afraid to get dirty. The man who admits to drinking breast milk. You have a kid? You know how much they shit after drinking breast milk? There's no doubt in my mind this had to be Josh Hart. My only holdback to saying it's a guarantee is he'd put his name on it.
Now we have to keep this tradition going. It's simply a secret weapon at this point. If the team stayed loose because of it, I will go hand deliver Skyline in Indiana to whoever needs it. This is about finding a way to close out a series and move on to the Eastern Conference Finals. We're already short handed, dealing with injuries all over the place. Can't have guys worried about farting anymore, need them to let loose. I want that locker room to stink before game 6.
How can you not love this team? A team that will do anything for a win, a team that knows how to stay loose, a team that just finds ways to win. This is what it's about. Bonding with the fellas over farts is a tradition that goes back to the Stone Ages.