Box Lacrosse Is The Only Thing Saving Charmin Athletes Like Luka Doncic From Ruining Sports Forever
I'm not exaggerating in the slightest right now when I say that Luka Doncic should be in jail. For some reason or another, he's considered a "superstar" in the NBA. Which means that across the world, millions of kids love to watch him play and want to emulate his game. Which means that across the world, millions of kids will grow up playing the game like a bunch of little bitches who constantly flop all over the floor and cry to the refs about not getting calls instead of getting in to play defense. You need to put him in jail right now before the damage he does to the future of sports becomes irreversible.
The only way to combat the Charmin ultra soft athletes of the world like Luka Doncic?
Make more kids play box lacrosse.
Everywhere you look right now, sports are getting softer. You're not allowed to come in like a heat seeking missile to blast someone's skull off of their body in football anymore. Junior hockey leagues in Canada are banning fights and suspending players 5 games for calling another player a pussy. They took steroids out of baseball. But the one sport that refuses to "get with the times"? Box lacrosse.
Still sending goons out there to pummel the shit out of anyone who deserves it like we're still living in the good ol' days. Remember how great the early 2000s were? When being an athlete meant more than just being a glorified YouTuber. We gotta toughen these guys back up, and one summer of playing box lacrosse in Canada should do the trick just fine. You act like a jackass out there, you have an enforcer coming out to set you straight. The way sports should be.