The Best Follow On Instagram Is A Welsh Kid Who HAMMERS Skyr Bowls And The Hardest Workouts You've Ever Seen
One day, not too long ago, the internet decided that I'd like to meet a young man in the mountains of Wales who eats so much food that he's single-handedly sending entire villages into starvation somewhere else in the world. This is not my typical bag. Do I like watching people eat? Not really. But as soon as I met young Kyan, I couldn't get enough.
His workouts are utterly preposterous. ONE HUNDRED MILES on the assault bike. You guys ever try one of these things for more than... 60 seconds? They're death machines. For my money, there is no device at the gym more humbling than an assault bike. You don't get any momentum at all. As soon as you stop pulling/pedaling, the thing stops due to that gigantic fan of a wheel. Yet somehow, Kyan of Wales manages to stay on there for almost five hours:
Ho hum, five bananas down. Five! On rare occasions when the pantry is bare, I'll eat two bananas in a day—one at breakfast, and another late in the afternoon. I do not like these days. That's too much banana. My thoughts turn dark and I feel imbalanced, sullen, even vengeful. It's so hard to process that much potassium, that much soft, fallic fruit, without things taking a turn for the worse. Which is why the idea of eating five in one sitting, while exercising, makes my heart hurt.
But not Kyan. The lad is built of different stock. He's got this mischievous, playful relationship with food that manifests through him calling eggs "naughty ones" and apples "cheeky." His body is chiseled from stone, sure. But it's his accent and the gigantic portions of icelandic yogurt, dates, frozen bluebreeez and frozen strawbreeez, the way he says "chocolet," that have captivated me.
Give him a whirl. He's exploding. Maybe you've found him already. Something tells me that in short order, he'll be able to afford a renovation that puts the assault bike behind some glass, under a proper roof, and out of the naughty corner for good.