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Revenge Of The Nerds: The Carolina Hurricanes Just Hired This Mad Scientist To Be Their Next GM

Josh Lavallee. Getty Images.

Hockey was one of the last sports to really hold out on the analytics movement. It wasn't until just a few short seasons ago that the majority of teams even started tracking stats besides goals, assists, and +/-. 

Baseball fell to analytics immediately because they're a bunch of dorks. Nerds naturally gravitate towards basketball because there's no contact. Now we're even at a point where the calculator boys are out here making decisions for NFL coaches on whether or not they should go for it on 4th down or attempt a 2-point conversion. 

The fact of the matter is that hockey was our last hope of keeping nerds out of sports. People often criticize the NHL for being "the old boys club", but that's what is so great about it. If you are good enough as a player, you are almost guaranteed to have a job as a head coach or general manager once your playing career is over. Joe Sakic, Patrick Roy, Rod Brind'Amour, Rob Blake, Danny Briere, Martin St. Louis, Bill Guerin. The list goes on and on. Teams hire guys who played the game because they know it the best. 

But now here come the Carolina Hurricanes hiring a literal scientist to be their new general manager. 

Eric Tulsky is a Philly guy so I should be happy for him. But the ramifications of this hire worry me. It's just the Carolina Hurricanes now, but what happens when the San Jose Sharks decide to hire some dude who just won his fantasy hockey league to run their team next? What about when the Vancouver Canucks decide to go to some local science fair to hire their next GM? Is Eric Tulsky just a one-off, or is he going to be the new norm? 

All I'm saying is that I don't need my GM to know anything about nanotechnology. I don't need my GM to have 27 patents. I don't even want my GM to have a college degree. Maybe you played a few years of college hockey, but you better have been good enough to leave school after your sophomore year to jump up into an NHL roster. I want my GM to know how to put the puck in the back of the net, and have a good eye for guys who can do the same thing. Because at the end of the day, that's how you win hockey games. Not by solving problems in DNA sequencing. 

Sidenote: It's not like the Hurricanes just picked this dude straight out of a laboratory somewhere. He's been in the league for 10 years, and spent the last 4 years as the assistant GM. But still. Nerd. 

@JordieBarstool