Cheat Code: Florida's Olivier Rioux Will Be The Tallest Player In College Basketball History, Somehow Grew A Couple More Inches And Is Now 7'9"

What the fuck man? That doesn't even sound like a real height. My dumb brain can't understand how someone is this tall even if that same dumb brain knows he was in the Guinness Book of World Records for tallest teenager. Obviously people are debating if this is true or not. We know he was 7'7" at some point now he's 7'9". Not sure how you can argue this when anything that tall looks the same. 

That said, being that tall has got to suck. Yeah, you're playing Division I basketball, but life can't be comfortable. Gotta worry about hitting your head on shit all the time, can never just sit normal, find a bed that fits and don't even get me started on taking a shower. Taking a shower is one of life's greatest gifts. Just stand there with hot water hitting your body? It's the best. No doubt in my mind he's almost gotta sit down in the shower just to fit. I'd much rather be myself at 5'9" than 7'9". An absurd height no matter how many times you say it. 

He's not some oaf out there either. He moves pretty good for being the tallest teenager in the world. 

This has to be a cheat code though. Just put him under the hoop and feel like you're going to get 8 free points a game. No one is going to block him, just throw the ball as high as possible. Tell him to do nothing but catch and dunk. But now I'm wondering if you can use him in other sports. Hockey goalie? He's Canadian after all. Down 1-0 in soccer late and have a free kick or corner? Put him in the box for headers. Block field goals and punts just standing in the middle? Can't rule out any of that. 

Oh and anyone saying he should have went to Purdue? Don't worry, Purdue has their own tall freak coming in (he's legit awesome too).