NBA Champion Jayson Tatum Signs The Largest Deal In NBA History ($314M) To Stay In Boston For The Foreseeable Future

Boston Globe. Getty Images.

What a day! I've got to be honest, ever since the clock hit 0.0 in Game 5 of the NBA Finals life has been a bit of a fever dream. Winning the actual title, the parade, the passing of my magical puppy Walter (RIPIP), the Kornet/Queta signings (kidding, but not really), the Derrick White max extension from today, learning that Wyc is selling the team to now Tatum's extension, I mean what a rollercoaster of emotions

Don't ask me to figure out the math of how a team like the Celts can simply pay everyone 30M+ while other contenders are peeling off important rotation players just to avoid these new CBA apron rules. I guess maybe they should find themselves their own Brad Stevens and Mike Zarren? The Celts were ahead of the curve, made all their moves and team building decisions before these new restrictions came into place, and now all they have to do is pay for it. It's not my money so I don't care how they do it, I just care about them being willing to do it.

Plus, they'll probably sell to some oil baron or something like that so at this point who gives a shit what the future tax penalties might be. It could be 100M, 200M, 300M, I don't give a shit. What I do know is that when you have a player like NBA Champion Jayson Tatum, you pay that man his money to pair him with fellow NBA Champion and Finals MVP Jaylen Brown, NBA champion Derrick White, NBA Champion Jrue Holiday, NBA Champion Kristaps Porzingis, NBA Champion Al Horford etc. I'll trust the smart people to figure out the money aspect and I'll trust Brad Stevens to figure out the roster part once tough decisions need to be made. 

But for now? We celebrate

The same way Jaylen Brown was very much worth his supermax which at the time was the largest contract in NBA history, the same is true for Jayson Tatum. I'd go so far as to say he's still underpaid. I'd given him $600M if it were up to me, because you have to remember something. Despite what NBA Twitter wants you to believe because every opposing fanbase is still very much hurt that Jayson Tatum repeatedly beats their favorite team and is now an NBA champion, players like this do not grow on trees. Appreciate what we are witnessing

The Celts main goal this offseason was pretty simple. Make sure you reinforce your big man depth with KP out until Christmas (check), re-sign Derrick White before he has a chance to hit the unrestricted free agent market (check), extend Jayson Tatum (check), extend Sam Hauser (in progress), re-sign Xavier Tillman (TBD).

So far, I'd say Brad is having a hell of an offseason. Even if the White and Tatum extensions are no-brainers that everyone would do, I don't care. It was Brad's job to get it done and that's what he did. Derrick White could have held out for another year and made probably 10M+ more a season, but Brad got him to stay. Tatum's extension is the literal definition of a formality, but it still awesome to see a Shams bomb like that knowing that the best duo in the NBA is signed for the foreseeable future.

Jesse D. Garrabrant. Getty Images.

Quickly, in terms of the sale of the Celts, what a crazy update that was. I don't know much about most things, but I do understand buy low and sell high. I know the team said it was estate planning related and I'm going to call bullshit on that. It's OK to say you know what? Our 200-300M investment is now worth $5B or some shit, now might be the time to cash in. Wyc has done nothing but back up his claims about funding a contender, and as an owner that has brought me 2 NBA titles in my lifetime after 0 titles before his group purchased the team, I say go ahead and make that money.

In terms of who I'd want to buy the team, I'm not picky. Let KG's group buy it after he tried to buy the Wolves. Let Dave buy it

it makes no difference to me. I just have one request. Do not let John Henry anywhere close to this sale. I'd rather the league own the Celts than that asshole. 

All I ask is that whichever billionaire or whatever group does win the sale, the only requirement needs to be you will continue to pay out of the asshole as long as this team is in contention. I'm not exactly a law guy outside of bird law, so I'm not sure if you can even put that in writing, but if so, do it. You must commit to be willing to spend hundreds of millions in luxury taxes as long as this team is playing for Larry's. 

I just have to be honest. Outside of my sweet boy heading up to the rafters last Sunday (RIPIP), everything about the Celts winning the title has been even better than I imagined. And now, based on the wheeling and dealing of Brad Stevens, the Celts are in a great position to keep taking swings at another one. Man, are we blessed.