A Week After Zach Wilson Got Engaged, His Ex-Girlfriend Gets Engaged To His Former BYU Roommate

Is that the worst, most convoluted headline to ever hit this site? Possibly. Anyways:

LAST WEEK: 

The Broncos new QB Zach Wilson gets engaged to NJ native & dress designer Nicolette Dellanno in Italy (and - shots fired?? - says in the caption that he 'never truly understood what love was' until he met her). 

THIS WEEK: 

Commanders WR Dax Milne gets engaged to his former BYU roommate Zach Wilson's ex girlfriend Abbey Gile who once responded to a troll calling her a 'homie hopper' on Milne's Instagram post ~coyly~ launching their relationship by replying that Wilson was "sleeping with his mom's best friend... that's the real homie hopper". (Say that sentence five times fast.)

The lowbrow scumbag in me wants to speculate on the timing of the Milne/Gile announcement so soon after the Wilson/Dellanno engagement, but the reality is that in Mormon World engagements are happening in rapid-succession-warp-speed 24/7 and it's probably just a coincidence. All I know is that if the Broncos play the Commanders this year shit is going to get absolutely * WILD (* two extremely attractive ladies sitting on opposite sides of the stadium completely unbothered and never encountering each other) and I'm here for it.