Tyreek Hill Has Just Been Declared the Father of Another Baby and Has One on the Way

Megan Briggs. Getty Images.

One thing you generally find about athletes is that excelling at sports is so hard and takes so much time and commitment, is that you very rarely find the truly elite ones be great at some other thing. I'm not talking about multi-sport athletes, the ones who can adapt their physical talents from one to the next. I'm saying that it's almost unheard of to see one of the greats in his sport to be among the very best in some entirely different, unrelated discipline. 

One who comes to mind is Ted Williams. The Greatest Hitter Who Ever Lived [tm] was also an accomplished Marine pilot whom no less an authority than John Glenn called "The best wingman I ever had." And he also got inducted into the Fishing Hall of Fame. 

And to Teddy Ballgame's mighty company, we can add the name Tyreek Hill. Who is perhaps the greatest wide receiver in his generation, while continuing to add to his legacy as a world class impregnator. Because as good a year as he was already having in the discipline of Unprotected Sex With Ovulating Women:

 … it turns out he was only getting warmed up. Because a Florida judge just delivered Hill a message he has heard before:

And he's by no means done.

Daily Mail - A Florida court has declared NFL star Tyreek Hill the father of yet another little girl - bringing his unofficial roster of kids to seven with another on the way.

The Miami Dolphins wide receiver, 30, could have as many as 10 children dotted around the nation if rumors are to be believed.

His wellness influencer wife Keeta Vaccaro, 28, is also expecting a baby, their first together.

A Broward County judge ruled this week that the eight-time Pro Bowler is the father of Trae Love Hill, born on May 2 last year.

The tot's mom Kimberly Kaylee Baker, 30, filed a paternity suit that same month claiming the newborn was conceived during an August 2022 hook-up with Hill.

In that first blog above, I compared Tyreek to Antonio "The Father of Our Country" Cromartie:

In the second, Nicky Smokes referenced Phillip Rivers. But with all due respect, neither of those guys were five time All Pros who made the Pro Bowl every year of their careers, and making perhaps five babies during their best season at age 29. When most wide receivers approach 30, their production slows down. Both in terms of Passes Caught, Yards Gained, and Babies Made. Not this legend. He has not yet begun to reach his peak. 

I think what makes Tyreek Hill so rare is not just his natural talent. Though there is that. But plenty of guys are gifted by the gods with all the physical tools. But to get to where he has, you need to want it more than everybody else. You've got have that desire to fight through coverage, go after the uncatchable balls, and never, ever pull out. Much less use protection. Hill would no sooner stop raw dogging child-bearing age females than he'd alligator-arm a pass because he heard a safety's footsteps. That what makes him the best there is in both games. 

And if you believe people like Elon Musk who say human race isn't making babies at a replacement rate and we're heading for trouble because there won't be enough productive workers a generation from now to sustain the world's economies, then you should be grateful we've got Hill's unstoppable sperm doing their part. More than their part, actually. If Tua Tagovailoa's arm ever achieves the accuracy on deep balls that Hill's testicles do at hitting a fertile egg, Miami will never lose another game. 

So congrats to the new (and expecting) dad on this wonderful news. And I'm going to suggest that we sign Tyreek Hill up for that list of VIPs, political leaders and military commanders who'll get whisked off to the underground bunkers once the nuclear missiles start flying. Because once we need to repopulate the planet, Hill will be able to do the work of a thousand men. And the human race that emerges from the ashes will be incredible at catching footballs.