Some Women Are Just Waiting For You to Bring the Heat...

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Back in the ‘60s and ‘70s my father used cheap charcoal grills and hibachis to cook food outdoors, but he lined ‘em with tinfoil so they wouldn’t rust. When done right, they lasted at least one full season, maybe more. The more expensive grills on wheels with domed tops and adjustable vents were made of thicker metal and lasted much longer. But to my dad, it wasn't as much about the grill as it was about the technique.

My Dad was a grillmaster. He knew how to get the charcoal going, evenly pouring the right amount of lighter fluid on each briquet. I never wanted to miss watching him toss a match on it, and when I was a little older, say five, he let me do it. When it came to grilling with charcoal, there's a little Piro hiding in all of us, and grilling was my first experience with fire, and I liked it.

My dad wouldn't start cooking until every briquet turned white. Sometimes it was like, "Hurry the fuck up, Dad. I'm hungry!" But you couldn't budge him or throw him off his grill game. He was incredibly disciplined.

He always chose a good name brand charcoal briquet. His preference was Kingsford, the one with mesquite. The food my father grilled had a unique flavor my family grew accustomed to. Every time he brought the food inside he'd say, "There's nothing like that charcoal flavor!"  Who could argue with him? The food was always delicious. 

Later, when the price of gas grills came down, we tossed our charcoal grill for a small propane gas grill. It made life easier, and there was no lighter fluid or hot coals to deal with, which, if I’m being honest, might not have been 100% safe, but it sure was a lot of fun.  

Gas barbecuing was a lot quicker. While it didn’t have the same flavor as charcoal, with the right marinade and some gas cooking experience, the food tastes just as good.

When my wife and I lived in apartments, I continued my father's tradition of grilling on cheap grills and Hibachis, always choosing Kingsford brand briquets with mesquite. I may have even repeated, "There's nothing like that charcoal flavor!" whenever I brought the food inside.

When my wife and I bought our house in ‘87, we purchased a larger Weber propane gas grill for our deck. It was great, but we quickly learned that having two tanks ensured we wouldn’t run out mid-barbecue, which could put a real damper on a large party. We bought a second tank.  When that grill was getting older, we took a page out of my father-in-law’s playbook; he was a plumber, and we purchased another Weber, but this time, a natural gas model. Being a plumber, I piped it, making it an affordable installation with no tanks to worry about, ever!  

Years later, we replaced that one with another Weber, and we’ve had it for 16 years. I remember paying nearly $900 for it, including assembly, delivery, and a Weber grill cover. 

Our Weber Genesis is 16 years old, and it has served us well…

Every year, I thoroughly clean it, which prolongs the grill's life and helps reduce flare-ups and burnt food.  The last couple of years have been difficult for us, and I haven’t had time to clean it. It was a mess, and all the crap at the bottom flamed up, and the food was getting burned, damaging my reputation as a second-generation grillmaster. 

It was loaded with close to three years worth of junk. Over the years, I’ve had to replace several parts, and fortunately, there’s a Weber website that makes it easy to find the right parts for your particular grill. I knew I needed new flavorizer bars, so I ordered them and had them ready to go. They protect the burner tubes from grease/drippings, reduce flare-ups, and create smoke that Weber claims adds flavor to the food…

The more I got into it, the worse it started to look…

I knew I had to put on the gloves, dig in, and clean the fuck out of it. It has always been a dirty, two-hour job and it needed to be done. Here's the grease tray. It was full…

It was starting to look more inviting after some serious cleaning and new flavorizer bars installed…

 I began at 3:30 and was cooking on a clean grill by 5:30!  I had successfully tamed the grill!

It's just me and my wife now. She likes chicken burgers, and I'm into smashing some Wahlburgers!

After reading about all the emergency room visits made by people who swallowed wire from old school grill brushes, some requiring surgery, I changed how I clean the grates. I’m using a cheap stainless steel scraper for my initial cleaning and steam cleaning the grates with a bristle-free brush. It’s more time-consuming but a lot safer. I heat up the grill, dip the bristle-free brush in ice water, and steam away all the burnt shit. It works very well. 

I got a good deal on eBay—two for one. I wasn't sure if I would like the bristle-free steam cleaning, but I do. 

I’ve always been the grillmaster in my house, and now that my old gas grill is clean again, I’m back at the top of my grilling game! But, if I'm being honest, I owe it all to my dad. He was the perfect role model, the original grillmaster in our family…

My youngest son and his wife just bought a house. As some have suggested, the rusted tractor wheel and tire he brought home from the farm would've made the perfect housewarming gift. But I decided to keep the grilling tradition alive in our family, so my wife and I bought them a new Weber propane gas grill. 

I hope he has been paying attention all these years and can become a third-generation grillmaster! 

Grilling brings out the beast in me, and "I am the god of hellfire!"