BREAKING (apparently): Chelsea Confirms That Cole Palmer Has Withdrawn From The England National Team

I think this guy Fabrizio Romano is basically WOJ + Shams + Schefter + Passan for the soccer world. Like basically the most important news breaker in the world but domestically he rides in the middle of the backseat. That's the way I understand it and I'm willing to be corrected if you soccer guys know better. 

Personally I think the sport is remarkable and Cole Palmer has quickly become my favorite player. Not enough to cheer/support Chelsea but the whole soccer fandom process is a long one. Maybe some time down the road, God will show me a sign of what club is worth my rage. Right now I'm keeping a pretty tight inner circle with the obvious reality that I could/would never love a foreign soccer club with a fraction of the passion captured by the Bears/Cubs/Illini/Brother Rice. 

Even so, this Cole Palmer guy is fuckin ELECTRIC enough to start the conversation. Which to me is much further along than I ever anticipated when I started my early morning degenerate COVID runs. Since then I've been sucked in with such limited direction other than subscribing to PEACOCK and consuming Men in Blazers content. Many of you are on this path with me right now. The progress has been remarkable but, again, I'm smart enough to know this is just one big distraction from the pain and anguish I sustain regularly from my primary fandoms. 

Maybe some time down the road. Maybe I get a maiden voyage across the Atlantic to see Cole Palmer for myself one day. Maybe blah blah fuckin blah. 

The whole point of this blog was just to introduce that Cole Palmer is (1) withdrawing from England national team and (2) he's fucking awesome when he's on the field. Or the pitch. Or whatever. 

If you're looking for a guy, this is a pretty good start: 

I don't really understand transfer/loan rules at all because this is like the 9th sport I give a shit about and it's pretty complicated to begin with. But the basic premise is that Cole Palmer came up with Man City but wasn't going to get any time with Jack Grealish, or some shit like that. So they let him go to Chelsea and ever since he's basically been the Phil Foden we were promised on that Amazon Prime documentary series. 

And if none of that makes any sense, then just consider that this is a good sport to follow as you get older and start losing your ability to sleep for more than a couple hours. 10 years ago I'd scoff at the very notion of the premise of the concept of this blog. That was until I found myself with hours around the house every single weekend, undisturbed and perfectly suited to do anything: gym, laundry, make an honest breakfast, dust off the parlay calculator. The world is your oyster on Saturday morning before your wife consciously comes down the stairs with a list of activities you did not know existed until she abruptly announces them for the first time. 

That's really how the EPL comes into a lot of grown men's lives. One of the last great escapes out there and, again, my recommendation is you start mixing now before it's too late. The longer you delay something like this in relationship/marriage, the less likely she's willing to see it as something that matters. So make a choice in the long run and try to give a fuck now.