Some Realtors I Met Over the Years Stunk of Perfume & Were Leggy, Commission-Seeking Women Who Easily Could've Been Calling Me "Handsome" & Bringing Me Rusty Nails in an Airport Cocktail Lounge...

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A few weeks passed, and my son hadn't forwarded a single listing to me- very unlike him. I figured I'd been cut from the house-hunting team. My keen ability to uncover deal breakers had become underwhelming, and perhaps I'd worn out my welcome. I assumed my son and daughter-in-law decided to continue the search on their own with the help of her father and stepmother, and I was out…  

Then I got a listing in my messages. It was a beautiful, 2,688-square-foot, two-story home built in 1965, with five bedrooms and two baths, in the town they wanted and a price range they could afford. The following day, I met the whole crew there. 

A lot of times, the listing pics look much better than the actual house. But in this case, when I pulled up, the house looked much better than the listing. It had great curb appeal. The doors on the two-car garage were painted to match the house, the mature landscaping was perfect, and the entire front of the house was gorgeous, including the section of decorative stone under the front-facing gable.

The neighborhood is populated with similar size well-kept homes, making the houses more desirable and increasing their value. The two-story house in the Brian Albert/Karen Read neighborhood we looked at was surrounded by single-story Campenelli slab ranches that hadn't been updated, so spending a lot of dough on a home there didn't make sense to me.

Although it's about the house, it's also about the town and the neighborhood. This house appeared to hit the trifecta.

When we walked in, the realtor showing the house was seated in the kitchen reading. He got up and introduced himself. He wasn't a wannabe runway model who stunk of perfume like many of the middle-aged, leggy, commission-seeking women I've met over the years who easily could've been calling me "handsome" and bringing me Rusty Nails in an airport cocktail lounge. This guy was well-schooled and knew a lot about the house and the neighborhood. And he didn't try to hard sell us, either. He let us walk around and said if we had any questions, he was there to help and would try to answer them.

The kitchen had been recently remodeled, and it was beautiful, with granite countertops, attractive cabinets, an island, and a tile floor. The hardwood floor in the living room looked like it had been refinished; nothing needed to be done there.

The family room was around the back, and other than needing new carpet and some paint, it looked like a great place to watch football, which is very important in our families.

The dining room was decent size, and of the two bedrooms on the first floor, one was big enough to be the master, and the other was a good-sized second bedroom. The first-floor bathroom needed some updating, but nothing that was a deal breaker.

The wrought-iron railing on the stairs leading to the second floor was wobbly and needed to be replaced. Two of the rooms on the second floor were good size, the third was small but could easily be a home office. The bathroom was in good shape.

As thrilled as I was about the first and second floors, as a plumber, I was excited to head downstairs to the basement. As I descended solid stairs, I scanned the area and was happy to see the dry, unfinished basement! The current owners had a mini gym set up, and there were no water marks on the foundation walls or fresh paint hiding them. There were also no mouse traps or signs of rodents or termites, like some of the other homes we looked at. 

The framing was nothing short of spectacular! After 45 years in the plumbing trade, I've seen a lot of framing, and the framing in this house was exceptionally good! When I mentioned it to the realtor, he told us that one builder built all the homes in the neighborhood except this one. Another builder built this house for himself and you could see the extra care he put into it. I couldn't stop staring at the floor joists and the carrying beam, which were quite impressive. The lumber was so much better back when this house was built.

There's a gas-fired boiler, hot water baseboard, and a 40-gallon natural draft gas-fired water heater. They might have to upgrade the tank size at one point, but for now, it would be fine for the two of them. Two separate AC units provide central air, which is the best way to cool a two-story house. The electrical panel had been updated to a 200 amp service with circuit breakers. This house had good fucking bones!

The backyard was big enough for some long toss, and the neighbors were a comfortable distance away. There was a shed so they wouldn't have to clutter the garage with mowers, blowers, and tools.

Some things would need immediate attention, but there were no deal-breakers. When I gave my son and daughter-in-law my approval, they seemed shocked. I'm glad I vetoed the other offerings, and they were still in the market when this one became available. Sometimes, it's good to be a prick!

After more than a year of searching, their offer was accepted, and they bought the house! They've lived there since early July, and my wife and I are so happy for them.

Buying a house is a huge investment that no one should rush into. You have to be patient, especially in this market. Eventually, you'll find the house of your dreams at a price you can afford.

I'm not sure you wanna buy this house… (Eric Burdon was the coolest)