Being A Philly Sports Fan Is A Sick, Twisted Joke
Luke Hales. Getty Images.Well….that fucking sucked, huh?
If you've ever wondered why Philly fans are the way that we are, just take a quick gander at this lineup of bullshit that has taken place in this city over the last 2 years.
It's been historical collapse after historical collapse. We've gotten kicked in the dick multiple times in a row, and as we're hunched over on the ground someone comes by and puts a boot directly to our face. You'd think at some point we'd build up the pain tolerance to deal with it, but somehow each collapse just gets more excruciating than the last.
I'm starting to think that maybe the Sixers have the right idea wanting to leave the South Philly Sports Complex. Somehow having all the teams together in one location has caused them all to just blend into each other. They've all become the exact same organization. Full of hope and promise to start the season. They show flashes of brilliance throughout the year to fan the flame of that hope and make you truly believe. And then when you finally think this is the team to get the job done, they vanish like a bunch of gutless cowards.
This Phillies loss might be the worst of them all. Because this is the team that started the run in 2022. The team that started to give this city an insane amount of hope. Hope--it's the most destructive drug on the planet. They were scrappy, they were magical, they ran off of vibes and home runs. We felt fortunate that they made it to the World Series that year and just expected that they'd be back there for years to come. Last year's collapse was devastating, but maybe it was just a fluke. I mean surely there's no way that a team with this much star power could just go completely silent when they need to show up the most. They got ice cold at the absolute worst time, but surely it couldn't happen again.
And then it happened again. This is the loss that makes you never want to put your hope and trust into a Philly team again. Because at this point, what's the point? If a team that can win the NL East for the first time in 13 years with a billion dollar payroll can still end up being this much of an underachieving group of disappointing assholes, then what hope does any other team have?
Anyway, what a waste of a year. What a waste of one of the best summers of baseball that we've ever had in Philly. Ultimately we'll always remember this team for being one of the biggest groups of chokers to ever wear the Phillies uniform. And that's a shame because for so many months, they were one of the most exciting. But you simply cannot have that season end with a loss to the Mets in the NLDS and then not blow the whole team up afterwards. Unless your name is Harper or Wheeler, I don't think there should be anyone in this organization who feels safe right now. I can't believe we are going to have to hate the first team to win the NL East in 13 years. Such a joke.
P.S. -- If you're looking for any reason to still have hope in this city, it comes in the version of a Russian teen wearing an orange sweater named Matvei Michkov.