Live EventThe Unnamed Show With Dave Portnoy, Kirk Minihane, Ryan Whitney - Episode 35Watch Now
Stella Blue Coffee Golden Mug Giveaway | Enter to Win One of 10 PS5s LEARN MORE

The Phillies Collapse Was More Emotionally Devastating Than This Lady's Dog Dying

You know what, Courtney? It was bull crap. It's a giant, steaming load of bull crap. 

But here's where you're wrong--your dog always loves you. Your dog will always do anything to keep you happy. But the Phillies? This team literally couldn't give less of a shit about you. Because if they cared, there would have already been significant changes after last year. 

I get that it's hard to blow the whole thing up after losing in the World Series and then being a game away from making it back the following year. But there were glaring issues with this team that everybody saw, and the Phillies did nothing about it. The bullpen is a disaster in October, the bats have a tendency to go completely silent if they're not hitting the long ball, the manager is too concerned with not hurting anybody's feelings to ever make a big adjustment. This is a team that literally decided to stop competing after the all-star break. They figured they already had the division locked up and they didn't need to try anymore. The summer was the same shit over and over and over again. They took the easy way out, decided to coast the rest of the way, and then we wonder why this team looked like they didn't have an ounce of fight of them in this series outside of 3 innings in game 2. 

Your dog dying is a heartbreaking moment. The 2024 Phillies dying is more of a sweet release than anything. This is a team that deserved to get taken out behind the woodshed and put out of their misery. I just hope her best friend doesn't decide to put herself out of misery, too, when she sees this news clip air. 

Also--credit to the Phillies for making this chick regret evacuating from the hurricane. 

If I had the choice between driving head first into a hurricane or having to get my hopes up about another underachieving group of dickhead Phillies, I'm going with the hurricane. 

And this is also why you can't dress like a jackass for any Philly sporting event. The risk of looking and feeling like an idiot after a humiliating loss is just way too high. 

If they win, the overalls rock and everybody loves them. I get it. But how often do our teams actually win these games? We got spoiled the past few years, but the numbers are staggering. It's almost always a guaranteed loss, and you're almost always guaranteed to end up looking like a buffoon in your overalls. 

@JordieBarstool