7-Eleven Stores Are Closing All Over Chicago And Nobody Knows Why

A lot of people saw this news and immediately freaked out. One of the busiest and most important 7-11's across Chicago recently boarded up it's windows and doors. People are blaming things like CRIME and THE ELECTION and general national Chicago talking points that get the folks all riled up online. 

And personally I'm drawn to this spot because not only have I spent somewhere north of $4,268 there over 15+ years. It's also across the street from Barstool River North and around the corner from Rossi's and next to Theory and down the street from Howl at the Moon, which is the same street that housed Social 25 during Chicago's peak 2010 years. So needless to say we have a lot of foot traffic and loose memories in this general area. And needless to say we don't want to see it abandoned over what some describe as Bad Leadership. 

Well good news my friends. (Kinda?) 

Apparently this 7-11 store closure is part of a National Consolidation plan to close 400+ stores by end of the year...

The highlights:

The company said traffic and sales were challenged "as consumers pull back due to inflationary pressure" and also said industry-wide that consumer cigarette sales continue to decline.

If people smoked more cigs, then we wouldn't have to close these convenience stores. That's probably the most important takeaway for all you vaping pussies out there. You're literally putting hard working families out of business by not smoking Newport 100's. 

Another important thing is that this is very complicated. We got holding companies and Japanese operators arguing with Circle K about how things should work. 

The Japanese operator of 7-Eleven stores is facing pressure to convince investors it can enhance value after having rejected a first bid in August by Alimentation Couche-Tard, operator of Circle K, saying it undervalued the company and its growth potential.

Takeaway here is that Circle K wanted to buy 7-11 last September for a couple billion. But the Japanese operating company that owns 7-11 thought it was a bad offer that undervalued its assets. So they didn't take the offer, which confused a group of people known as Experts. So now the Experts are projecting that 7-11 takes bold action in 2025 to create more value for what appears to be a bigger acquisition at a later date. 

Or something like that? 

Once we start talking about 7-11 you have to accept that people are going to take it very personally. In fact, most of Chicago's southsiders have not recovered from the great White Hen plague that wiped most moderately-trafficked convenience stores from the map. So when I say this is, without any exaggeration or hesitation, a very serious topic for impacted consumers - I really fucking mean it. 

So naturally that means changes:

The company announced key actions including saying it would grow its proprietary beverages, accelerate digital and delivery, including continued growth in its loyalty program and grow and enhance its store network.

In other words 7-11 is going to figure out a way to mainline Big Gulps into a delivery network that should officially mark the beginning of a new post-modern hellscape none of us can avoid. (Which is not a good thing.)

So just remember that in the coming weeks when countless other 7-11's close their doors across Chicago. It has nothing to do with the local environment for business operators. It has nothing to do with ________ (obvious bad things). 

It's just so they can regroup and reopen a rebranded retailer that's been reconsolidated. Once you think about it like that, it actually makes sense why all the 7-11's are closing: so they can get better.

Sound familiar? 

Nathaniel S. Butler. Getty Images.