The NBA Season Can Officially Begin Now That The League Is Investigating The 76ers' Plans For Joel Embiid To Never Play

Mitchell Leff. Getty Images.

Death, taxes, and the NBA feeling the need to dig deep into the workings about go-abouts of the Philadelphia 76ers. It simply would not be an NBA season without the league launching an investigation against this team, and the absolute dipshits who run the circus here. So welcome back to another edition of "Wait. What The Shit Are The Sixers Up To This Time?"

ESPN -- The NBA is likely to begin an investigation later this week into the Philadelphia 76ers surrounding the player participation of All-NBA center Joel Embiid, sources told ESPN on Wednesday.


It's typical for the NBA to review a team anytime a superstar player misses a nationally televised game, as per the player participation policy.


This is part of the new normal for Embiid this season, according to sources, a strategy to keep the former NBA MVP healthy for the postseason. The plan has been expected to include periodic time off during the regular season and routine evaluations from doctors and the 76ers' medical staff, those sources said.

Now this is where I guess I'd be a Libertarian as far as the NBA goes. Because I hate both sides of what's going on here. On one hand, I can't stand the load management nonsense that goes on in the NBA. You're professional athletes who are getting paid hundreds of millions of dollars to play a game for a living. Quit being a whiny little bitch and get out there. Awwww are you 7 feet tall and your body can't take the grind of an 82-game NBA season? Then don't play. Go find another job that'll pay you $200 million just for being outrageously tall. 

But on the other hand, I hate the NBA for getting involved here. If teams are going to invest hundreds of millions of dollars into these players, then it should be up to them to figure out how to properly use them throughout the season. The league shouldn't get to say that these guys HAVE to play during nationally televised games. If the Sixers feel that saving Embiid's health until the playoffs is the best course of action for them to try to win a championship, then the Sixers should be able to do that. I get that broadcast rights are a huge deal, and they're the main reason why these players can get paid as much as they do. But it's also not the Sixers' job to make sure TNT gets what they paid for. 

All in all, I think my main qualm here is that I just hate the NBA. It's an unserious league filled with unserious athletes. 

If Embiid is actually hurt, then the Sixers are dickheads for how they constantly handle these situations with a complete lack of transparency. Nobody can ever trust a word that comes out of their mouths because it's been a decade of this smoke and mirrors nonsense coming out of them. 

If Embiid is healthy, then he should probably just play the game that he gets paid to play. Figure out a way to adjust your game to where it's not as much wear and tear on your body through the regular season. You might never win another MVP playing that way, but at least you're out on the court and developing some sort of chemistry with your team before the playoffs start. 

And the NBA can just fuck off with their investigations. Your league is a joke and everybody knows your regular season is the biggest waste of time in sports. This is the bed they made, now they just need to pipe down and lie in it. 

@JordieBarstool