New Milford, CT Mayor Offering $1,000 Reward To Catch Perp Defacing Pubic Property

Not trying to pop back on here out of the blue & get too serious and preachy, but I felt the need to speak out on this. It's a divisive time in our nation and the last thing anyone needs is a vandal attacking community property, especially on the most unifying, classic-Americana, town-square patio of them all - The Gazebo Bandstand. 

Sadly, a bandstand sullied with spray paint is tearing the small town of New Milford, CT apart, and the mayor is scrambling to restore order. A strong police response has been promised and there's a $1,000 reward for anyone who outs the culprit, but I'm afraid the damage is already done.

Quick warning before you scroll any further, what you're about to see cannot be unseen. 

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Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo, not "Luke <3" !!!!! anything but that!< p>

First off, Mayor Pete has posted this no less than 3 times on his personal Insta page and in each instance he writes, "Defacing pubic property is a crime." If that's true and you saw me after the last time I attempted to shave you'd have to call the cops. A real mess. Patches all over. Looked like this down there. 

Justin Sullivan. Getty Images.

As for whodunit, it's still a total mystery. According to WTNF, Bass vowed that police will “vigorously pursue” whoever placed the message. I spoke with New Milford PD this afternoon and got a slight chuckle, but did not feel the sense of urgency needed on a case like this. (Public Affairs was not available and they did not know if anyone had come forward yet.) 

Any local high school gals who've just made out for the first time with a fella named Luke have got to be shaking in their (Ugg) boots, but there may be a lucrative out. On the always exciting r/Connecticut Reddit page, a thread suggested that if the perp is a minor with no priors they could turn themselves in to pocket $1,000 in exchange for some easy community service. 

On a final note, I was looking at the NMPD Facebook page to see if they've posted about the Gazebo vandal (they have not) but I found something much, much, much more important for this blog. Ella, the unit canine. 

Here's a quick use of the Trolley Problem meme to illustrate how I feel about Ella:

Anyways, shoutout to Luke. If chivalry is still alive I say you take the fall & then take whoever spray painted this out on a nice date.