The Chicago Sandwich Burglar Must Be Stopped

CHICAGO — A well-known restaurant on the city’s South Side was burglarized overnight.

Chicago police say three people broke a front glass window of Ricobene’s, located in the Armour Square neighborhood.

According to police, the three suspects were carrying guns and took the cash register before fleeing the scene. Police also say a cleaning crew was inside the restaurant when the burglars broke in. None of them were injured.

Happy Halloween and a friendly reminder Ricobene's should be off limits now and forever. Like Switzerland during European armed conflict but without any of the international banking protections. There should be mutual agreement amongst all citizens and criminals that certain places are neutral territory and thus carry excess penalties. Or at the very least, some good old fashioned common sense that you'll soon have nothing left to rob if you're even considering robbing Ricobene's. 

Even worse, there seems to be a sandwich shop trend developing which must be squashed immediately. 

About 40 minutes after Ricobene’s was burglarized, police say two people broke into a Lincoln Park restaurant — Mister Submarine in the 1500 block of West Fullerton Avenue — by smashing the front glass door before fleeing with two cash registers in a car waiting for them.

Nobody is in custody, and police have not yet released any description of suspects.

And honestly I can't remember the last time I had Mr. Sub much less craved their corned beef. Maybe 15 years and I could care less right now in this moment. As an institution and a place of comfort with elite shredded lettuce and yellow mustard distribution, Mr. Sub deserves so much better than a routine smash and grab. 

Another thing - why are we still stealing cash registers in 2024? Honestly how much cash on hand do you think a sub shop is carrying day to day this time of year? It has to be way less than $1,000 and even then I could be short changing it. Really makes you wonder because I personally would be going after the cold cuts and potato chips. Especially if I'm burglarizing with a sense of urgency. You can carry a lot more value in potato chips than soda cans with much less injury risk but I digress

My point is we need to protect the places that serve us best and Ricobene's is certainly towards the top of that list. So please do me a favor and don't fucking rob it. 

In other news, these are the best sandwich places in Chicago:

5. Something you like a lot

4. Ricobene's 

3. Bari 

2. Johnnie's 

1. JP Graziano

I don't know how much debate we can have about this. Some places may offer a great sandwich. But as a sandwich driven menu, I don't know what else to consider. #5 can be general to your own experience but after that, these 4 places are locked down in perpetuity. 

Another thing - we don't do Sandwiches and Burgers at the same time. I think it would be INSANE to consider Au Cheval or a burger-first establishment in the same breath and concept as an Italian sub. 

I will, however, extend the list to Italian Beef because I think that's only fair. Hot Dogs? Absolutely not. But Italian Beef makes the list and in that case, it's Johnnie's behind JPG* with a bullet. 

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*901 W. Randolph, tasterealchicago.com for all your giard and muffuletta needs