The Saddest Stats Of NFL Week 9

Grant Halverson. Getty Images.

Welcome to Week 9 Sad Stats. The time of year when all our delusions of what might be are as dead as summer, and every week we walk down the green mile to our electric chair of pain for three hours of brain melting misery. Our players suck. Our coaches suck. Our team sucks. But with death comes life. Look at the Saints. Good for them for firing Dennis Allen. That will help ease the pain of the Saints having a hold on some of the sadder stats of the week.

Here we go. Week 9. 

Sad Stat #0 - Matt Eberflus has a worse record on Sunday on the road than Marty Mornhinweg who was 0-16

I completely forgot about Marty Mornhinweg. But he also coached completely forgettable teams that had Charlie Batch and Joey Harrington. Yikes. Meanwhile, Eberflus has a world of talent that has completely given up on him because he's the most pathetic coach of all time. Even for the Bears. Some other intersting names on this list. Jimmy Phelan? Quite the career change he took. Dick Rauch? Also - there were still Abe's walking around in the 70s? 

If you really want to know how sad this stat is for Eberflus, check out this blog I wrote on the Oorang Indians team coached by Jim Thorpe (4-22 on the list). He played every game on the road as a player coach with a cast of late-night boozing Native Americans in easily the funnest historical blog I've ever written. 

Sad Stat #1 - The Saints are the 526th team to go 2-0 and just the second to turn that into 2-7

That's a lot of teams to start 2-0. Lets update that +60 point differential after Week 2 graph comparison to the 1966 Oilers we looked at a few weeks ago...

Yep. Still on pace to crush that less than -60 end of season result. But you'll be surprised to learn that the 1966 Oilers weren't the other 2-0 team to lose their next seven. It was the 1974 49ers. A team that started four quarterbacks throughout the season. As they say - if you have four quarterbacks, you don't have one. 

 

Sad Stat #2 - Derek Carr joins John Hadl as the only quarterbacks to lose the same head coach mid-season twice

His coach was so nice - he got him fired twice. You hear about coach killers. Even serial coach killers. But have you heard of killing the same coach twice? Once upon a 2014 season with the Raiders, rookie Derek Carr helped Dennis Allen to an 0-4 record to start the season that ended Allen's tenure. Carr would go ahead and lose another six in a row after that. 

While it sounds unprecedented, Carr is the second starting quarterback to coach-kill the same coach twice. The other being John Hadl. If you were ever to imagine what a guy that professionally killed the same coach twice looked like, I think we can agree this would be it. 

Sid Gillman was the coach Hadl offed twice (in 1969 and 1971) weirdly enough BOTH times with the San Diego Chargers. But in fairness, Gillman resigned in both instances. He wasn't fired. Pretty great quote from him from the NYT after his second resignment:

Gillman said he was still interested in coaching. “I'm interested in anything; I'm without job now.” 

All things considered - this makes Derek Carr the only true two-time same coach serial killer. What a feat. 

Sad Stat #3 - The Eagles finally scored in the first quarter of a game in Week 9 

I mean - congrats to the Eagles for pulling out a win and ending this first quarter of misery vs the Jaguars. I guess. The 1991 Packers were the last team to fail to score in the first quarter through Week 8. But that was back in the day when you could play hard-nosed defense. Something is still very wrong with this Eagles team. And that something is definitely Nick Siriani. 

Again - congrats on beating the Jaguars. 

Sad Stat #4 - Celebrating Jameis Winston's 100th career interception

98 games. 102 picks. And let me tell you - he's been lucky to have numerous passes dropped by defenses with none more picture-perfect than this one from Sunday.

Jameis is now just one of ten quarterbacks to throw 100 picks in 98 games or less. Bob Waterfield leads the way with 139 picks in 97 games, but then there's Frank Tripucka (a random ass name that now makes it's second sad stat this season) with 124 picks in just 68 games. Yikes. 

Sad Stat #5 - What's harder? Winning two Super Bowls or throwing two touchdown passes at home?

Couldn't let Giants fans leave here today without this little gem. Just imagine being so dumb in giving Daniel Jones any sort of a multi-year contract. How much longer are Giants fans going to see Jones' face on the sideline looking like he just saw his girlfriend drive by in another dudes car? 

That's Week 9. Seriously, go back and read that Oorang Indians blog and remember that Jim Thorpe has a better record on the road than Matt Eberflus. 

@Stathole

Catch up on last week's sad stats: