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"They Done Voted Me Out of The State", Things Have Gotten So Bad for Dabo Swinney at Clemson That The State of South Carolina Tried to Deny Him The Right to Vote

Clemson Tigers football coach Dabo Swinney has had a rough go of it lately. It seems like just yesterday when he was a consensus top 2 coach in college football. His Tigers were a perennial National Championship contender. You could pencil them into the 4-team playoff at the start of each season. Dabo won 2 National Championships, and made 4 National Championship appearances in 5 years. Then the transfer portal turned college football on its head. And unfortunately for Dabo, as a man of faith, his principals would not allow him to indulge in the proven 4 and 5 star talent who had been tainted by... well... I don't fucking know. For some reason Dabo Swinney decided Clemson was above using the transfer portal, and they went from having one of the best teams in college football, to getting read the riot act live on terrestrial radio by some dude named Tyler from Spartanburg. 

But he had almost turned it around this season. He was just starting to win back his fan base, and win back the respect of college football as a whole. Despite a convincing Week 1 loss to Georgia, the Clemson Tigers proceeded to go on an Indiana Hoosiers-esque run, dominating dog shit ACC football teams to the point that even college football experts like Brandon Walker had them as legitimate national title contenders once again.

But then last weekend they were blown out at home by 5-3 Louisville, and now Clemson is right back to where they've been for the last 3+ seasons. And apparently the good people of South Carolina were so disgusted that they didn't even want his vote cast in the most consequential election in the history of the universe. Sorry coach, but if you can't even find a way to stop Louisville's exceedingly average offense, we can't in good faith let you have a say in who runs this country

If you didn't watch the video, what actually happened is that somehow Dabo's son, who had voted early last week had his vote cast as Dabo's. So Dabo was forced to spend an hour on the phone with a woman named Amy to try and resolve the situation. In the end, there will be a hearing on Friday, and assuming they don't find that Dabo and his son are orchestrating a voting fraud scheme, they will both have their votes counted. Apparently. 

In all seriousness, Dabo is a better man than me for spending even more than a minute trying to resolve that situation. Maybe if I were voting in a swing state I'd see that process through. But if I'm voting in South Carolina? I'm sorry, but the second I come across the most minor of obstacles at the voting booth, I'm thinking to myself, "I'm pretty sure the good folks of South Carolina are on the same page here." Then I'm taking my voting ball and going home. And I'm taking my sticker too.